She frowned. “But I don’t want you to. If you’re worried about the feedings and the contract…”
“It’s not that.”
She wouldn’t understand. This went beyond contracts. And yet I refused to tell her the truth. The truth was powerful, and I didn’t know her enough yet to trust that she wouldn’t abuse her position. I couldn’t afford to tell her the truth, though I wasn’t certain how much longer I could hide it.
“What, then?” she asked. The only blessing was that shewasn’ta Kylorr. If she had been, she would’ve known the truth already.
I didn’t answer, only shaking my head. She went quiet, her brow furrowing as she regarded the fire.
“Do you regret what happened earlier?” I couldn’t help but ask. “During the feeding?”
Her cheeks tinged pink. “No,” she said quietly. “Do you?”
I blew out a rough breath. “I’m in a precarious position, Erina. You must see that.”
“Because you’re aKyzaireand I’m…I was a keeper?”
“Yes,” I replied. “I’m very aware of the optics of it.”
“I don’t care what people think,” she said quietly. “Mostpeople,” she corrected when I shot her an expectant look. She hadn’t wanted the keepers to know, after all.
“I need to be careful,” I admitted. “If I’m cold to you, that’s why. I got carried away this afternoon. But it won’t happen again. It can’t.”
I thought we might’ve both heard the lie. Because the realitywas that when I was feeding and she was in my arms, I thought webothlost ourselves a little. It was nearly impossible to resist.
“Even if I want it too?” came her quiet question. One that sparked desire and exquisite need.
“Especially because of that,” I answered, matching her nearly whispered tone. Though even I knew it was a losing battle. A countdown had already begun, silent but present.
“Do you plan to feed off others, then?” she asked. Based off the uncertain expression on her face, she didn’t know if she had the right to ask it.
But I read between the hesitation in her words.
“I ended the arrangement I had with Lydrasa of House Azola,” I told her, thinking it was one truth Icouldreveal.
“You did?” she asked, eyes widening.
I inclined my head. “You’ll be my sole blood giver.”
“Oh,” she whispered. She tucked back her hair. “I… All right.”
My lips quirked. “Is that all you’ll say? Most would gloat at having aKyzairecaught within their grasp.”
Erina cocked her head to the side, her eyes straying to the fire, a look of puzzlement on her features.
“I think it’s the opposite,” she told me. She smiled, meeting my eyes. They glimmered in the firelight. “Because,Kyzaire, I find myself caught inyours. And I find that I like it. Very much.”
CHAPTER 15
ERINA
There was a balcony attached to my quarters within the South Wing. It was, officially, my first morning in my new accommodations, and I woke up practically beaming, a giddy lightness blooming in my chest. The memory of last night didn’t fade, and I went out onto the balcony, still in my nightdress, and let the rising sun warm my face.
Though there was a chill in the air, I didn’t mind it. I sighed happily. With a burst of inspiration, I flew back inside, collected a thick blanket to wrap around my shoulders and my notebook before dragging one of the wooden chairs out onto the spacious balcony.
The morning over Vyaan was quiet, a hushed reverence. I’d always loved mornings. Loved the possibility of them, when the day was new and anything could happen. Perhaps I’d gotten my optimism from Luc. He’d always felt the same. But for him, a new day brought with it a fierce determination and hunger. For me, it was a softer kind of excited exploration.
With my notebook in my lap, I made a rough sketch of the view. I allowed it to be messy with smears of charcoal. But a mere twenty minutes later, I had my drawing of the view south. I couldjust peek the edge of the walled gardens, but beyond that, there was forest and mountains in the distance. So vast and wondrous. I wondered what Laras looked like. I wondered if Kaldur had a book like last night, but only of places on Krynn. Places that I could, conceivably, see in person one day.
