“Enjoy the gardens, Erina,” he said, as if he was trying to erase what had just happened. Frustration pricked at me. He was determined to keep me at arm’s lengthnow? After what we’d just done? “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“You won’t want to feed tonight?” I asked when he turned away.
He met my eyes. His fangs were still out, gleaming and sharp.
“Our contract stipulated two feedings a day,” he pointed out. “I’ve taken my allotted fill already. I’m allowed no more.”
The words felt like a bucket of cold water over my head. The contract. The damn contract. It made this feel so…clinical. Especially after the heat and wildness and need of that prior moment.
“I don’t care about that,” I argued.
“But I do,” he snapped, making me jump. He took in a deep breath. His tone gentled when he said, “Two feedings a day. That’s all. That’s what we agreed on, and I intend to uphold my word.”
I wrapped my arms around myself, smearing blood on my dress. Kaldur noticed, biting into his thumb without a moment of hesitation.
“Give me your wrist,” he demanded.
I held it out wordlessly to him, and he smoothed his blood over the bite. I stared down at the black mingling with my red.
“Don’t be upset with me,dallia,” he said softly, turning my chin up so I met his eyes. “I’m only trying to keep our agreement. My word is important to me. One of the most important things. Many times it’s all someone has.”
“I understand,” I said. But I didn’t. Not really. He held my gaze for a moment more and then stepped away.
“Have a pleasant day, Erina,” he said, inclining his head.
I watched him go with stinging disappointment.
Maybe he’d been telling me the truth,I thought.
Maybe all he would do was disappoint me in the end.
CHAPTER 14
KALDUR
By nightfall, I realized how futile it was to stay away from mykyrana, especially during the beginnings of the blood bond—when everything felt all the more punishing.
After the gardens, I’d filled the rest of my day with endless tasks in Vyaan. I’d met with the head builder, Jydar, of the South Road, even helping to haul blocks of rocks to burn off the surge of strength from the last feeding. I couldn’t go into the villages looking like this, but I knew that the builders wouldn’t ask questions. If Jydar had thought it was strange for aKyzaireto do physical labor, he’d said nothing, taking the help freely, especially when I’d hauled three times as much as any of his workers.
Once my body had returned to its natural state, I’d gone into the village, burning through every meeting I had scheduled for the week early, whether it had been with the archives’ master or to approve a new recruiting batch of soldiers at the training grounds or with the heads of noble Houses, discussing the trade routes of the South Road or speaking about an off-planet connection to help with its expansion.
There’d been a few probing questions about trouble stirring across the seas, but I’d kept my smile quietly confident, assuringanyone who’d tried to bring up the subject that House Kaalium was handling it directly. It hadn’t satisfied everyone, however, and I’d realized that rumors would only grow. We would have to address it throughout our territories and soon. If I was experiencing it in Vyaan, my brothers surely were too.
With House Azola’s impending dinner party in a few days, I knew I would have to approach the conversations with even more care. Nearly every House would be in attendance.
Even after the sunset and my business in the village concluded, I had energy and frustration to burn. I flew over the forests and circled distant mountains, pumping my wings hard—anything to not return to the keep.
But I was dripping sweat by the time the moon had risen and the village had gone quiet. I finally returned to the keep, opting to take the long way, up different stairwells and down long hallways, to my wing. For the first time in a long time, I felt calm. I’d fed from mykyrana. I’d physically and mentally exhausted myself. It softened and assuaged the storm in me, an old friend that had been a constant companion foryears.
So when I caught Erina’s scent the moment I alighted onto the South Wing, I followed it, giving into want instead of logic, though I might curse myself for it later. For years, I’d always done whatever I’d wanted. But as I’d grown older, as more and more responsibility had piled on my shoulders in Vyaan, in the Kaalium, I’d strived to be more like Kythel or Thaine. Disciplined and not so impulsive.
With Erina, I’d failed miserably on both accounts, especially this afternoon in the garden.
I found her in my private library. The door was slightly ajar, and when I pushed it open on its silent hinges, I saw the room bathed in golden light from the lit sconces. A Halo orb hovered over Erina’s shoulder, where she was sitting on the plush carpet, a variety of books spread out in front of her.
For a moment, I took advantage of her being oblivious to mypresence. I studied her, feeling a tight knot in my chest release.The last bit of my resolve,I thought.At least for tonight.
She was dressed in the nightgown I’d seen her in when she’d come to my study. Light blue in color, in a material I knew was hard to come by, it suited her complexion well. Her hair was unbound and wildly beautiful, curtaining her face as she leaned to peer down at the books. A teacup was next to her, its content half-drained, seemingly forgotten. Her feet were bare, I saw, as she leaned over her collection of books to flip the page of one. Her features were pulled into a stern look of concentration and interest, one that struck me as adorable…and I’d never thought that about a female in my entire life.
