It had taken me a few days, but now I was used to it. Before, when I’d been merely his blood giver, I’d had the impression he’d done everything he could tonottouch me, to keep himself apart.
I couldn’t help but wonder how often he’d been in his head whenever we’d been together.All the time,I’d finally decided. He’d gone against his natural instinct to be close to me.
Now? There was no reason to, except when it came to my own comfort.
His hand skimmed over my belly. “I wish I could feel what you do.”
“Soon I think you’ll be able to feel her,” I said.
Kaldur stilled. He looked up at me, those mirrored eyes watchful. “Her?”
I felt my cheeks heat a little at his sudden scrutiny. “Just a feeling.”
His grin started slow, those eyes never leaving mine. I always felt like I was holding my breath when he looked at me like that.
“How…how would you feel about that?” I wanted to know.
In many ways, females were more valuable to the Kylorr than males. There weren’t as many of them within the population,their births rarer. Compared to Kaldur’s four other brothers, he only had one sister.
Kaldur finally said, “Kalia was born last, and so by then, she had all of us to protect her. We were a bit of a terror, truthfully. Overprotective. It drove her mad.”
A small smirk from memory came. Then his expression went serious.
“It scares me…for a daughter to come first.” Seeing my frown, he quickly said, “Don’t misunderstand me. A daughter is a great blessing, one not many Kylorr get to experience. Would I prefer at least one or two males to come before her, so that they could watch over her as we did with Kalia? Yes.”
Oh. I understood now.
He continued, his palm skimming higher on my belly, “But if a daughter comes first, then I will be more protective until her brothers come later.”
I nearly gasped at what went unspoken. With those eyes burning into me, he was implying that…that…
I hadn’t given much thought to what would happenafterthe birth. What our relationship would be like.
But Kaldur obviously had.
He was presumptuous and charmingly determined—I would give him that. One side effect of being pregnant, I’d learned, was that I was distractingly and annoyingly aroused at nearly every opportunity. Kaldur being in such close proximity and always around was becoming an issue.
So I would be lying if I said the thought of bearing him sonsdidn’tsend a tantalizing zing of want through me.
I’d always wanted a large family. A home filled with children and a husband, who I loved dearly.
Once, it had been easy to imagine with Kaldur. I’d had daydreams of children running through these gardens as Kaldur chased them overhead, his laugh echoing across the sky.
But that was what it’d been…a daydream. And I was trying not to have as many of those because I’d learned that they could be more hurtful than helpful.
Then again, it was perhaps why I hadn’t been inspired aboutanything. I felt like I’d closed off a vital part of myself…or it had been lost somewhere.
“You do know that I’ll take care of you, don’t you?” Kaldur asked. He frowned. “I know I didn’t before…but you never have to worry again. Or worry for our daughter.”
I knew he meant it. My heartbeat was going too fast. He was getting too close, making me feel like I used to. I couldn’t afford that.
Panic rose. I said, “Guess Ididchoose the right male to get me with child.”
But the moment it left my lips, I regretted it. Especially when I saw him flinch, his jaw tightening, a flash of guilt stab into his eyes.
I supposed I did still harbor resentment. A lot of it.
“Erina—”
