She slapped me on the arm, and my chest loosened. That was another thing I liked about Millie. She had a talent for reading a conversation, for reading the body language of another and knowing when to push and when to weave. That talent had come with time, no doubt from her travels, from the way she’d grown up, a child of the stars, jumping from one galaxy to the next.
“Maybe you should read it to me,” she suggested. “It’s your family, after all.”
“And you should know them,” I said without thinking.
“Why?” she asked.
I blew out a rough breath.
Because my family will be your ownwas what I wanted to say. But it was wishful thinking, a fantasy that might never come true, and I didn’t want to give her false hope. That wasn’t fair.
“It would be useful,” I replied instead. Clearing my throat, I added, “If you intend to remain in Erzos.”
Millie nodded, but I knew the answer disappointed her.
“Maybe I’ll travel again,” she said quietly, not meeting my eyes. “Once I’m done with the cottage, once my father’s and Ruaala’s soul gems are joined. Traveling again might be nice.”
I jerked, frowning, my heart beginning to race at the thought of her slipping away.
“You would leave Krynn?”
“No,” she said, which was a dizzying relief. “But even if I did, it wouldn’t be for long. I promised my father that I would try to root my soul here, with your gods and goddesses. But there are other provinces I’d like to see. I’ve thought about living in Laras, seeing the Silver Sea. Or journeying to Vyaan because I heard they have an eatery for humans. With my experience in kitchens, it might be easier to find work there.”
It pinched harder than I’d expected that she was making plans to leave Erzos. Then again, I had given her no reason to stay. Our agreement, no matter how entangled, ended at the next moon-wind storm—which was not that far away, I realized with a panicked squeeze in my chest.
It made sense she would want to travel. It was in her blood.
“You’ve never stayed in one place for very long, have you?” I commented, my tone harsher than I wanted. In an attempt to lighten it, I said, “I just thought you’d want to be near your father.”
“I’ll return for the moon winds, no matter where I am,” she told me.
“You’ve given this a lot of thought, I see,” I grunted.
We both felt the tension rising between us, the unspoken thing we couldn’t say.
“It would be hard to stay here, Kythel,” she said quietly. There was tendril of melancholy in her voice, but she hid it with a small smile.
“Why?” I demanded.
But we both knew why. It was selfish of me to make her say it.
“Never mind,” I said, shaking the thought from my mind. The week we had left already felt entirely too short, stretched and strained, and I didn’t want to spend it arguing. “Let’s not speak of it.”
Millie nodded, looking down at her booted feet—worn, secondhand boots likely purchased at the market, but at least these didn’t have holes in the toe. Still, looking at them made me feel restless. Regardless of what happened between us, I would always take care of her. She never had to worry that she’d need to sleep in a storage room or scrounge for food or wear clothes until they disintegrated into threads. Ever again.
Did she not understand that?
No, because you’ve never discussed it. You’ve never given her assurances,I knew.
She wouldn’t accept my help. She’d only accepted my assistance with retrieving her father from Horrin because she loved her father more than she valued her pride. But otherwise? Millie Seren would never accept a single credit from me.
I’d asked her to visit the seamstresses shop in Raana to have a new wardrobe made when I’d noticed herlackof one…and she’d laughed in my face.
When I’d bought her a glittering set of culinarian knives I’d had Setlan secure for me last week, she’d balked even as she’d stroked them lovingly, telling me they’d been crafted by the Kimnians and that she couldn’t possibly accept them. Later, when I’d researched the Kimnians, I’d discovered that only a handful of knife sets were made every three years and that culinarians from across the Quadrants clamored to get their hands on one. As such, they were outrageously expensive, though truthfully I didn’t remember the price Setlan had quoted, only that I’d thought Millie would like them.
As such, she’d shoved them back into my hands like they’d been on fire even though I’d seen thewantand awe in her gaze, as if she’d never expected to see a set in person.
She’d done the same with a new mattress I’d purchased for the cottage, one of the best in the Kaalium, stuffed and hand-quilted withnerkkyafeathers from a tradesperson right in Erzan. We’d argued that afternoon. I’d called her stubborn. She’d called me high-handed when she’d seen the mattress situated into place in the bedroom. And then we’d fallen onto the new mattress and made love until even Millie had known we couldn’t possibly send it back after that. I’d been smug the rest of the evening but had known better than to show it.
