She held me gaze for a long moment and then said, “I know.”
It felt like both a weight off my shoulders but also a deepening of my shame. I imagined a new root of that shame crawling down my limbs, threading around muscles and veins and organs, like the seeking root of a tree. I would never be free of it. I knew that.
“I’ll dig up her body myself,” I told Millie.
“No, Kythel—”
“I must. I should have done it long ago,” I said, my tone allowing no argument. “I’ll dig up her bones and take them to the shrine. Her soul gem can be made alongside your father’s. I think that’s what she would’ve wanted, don’t you?”
Millie’s shoulders dropped slowly, the longer she stared up at me.
Finally, she said, “Yes.”
She took my hand in her palm, pressing a kiss to its center. I marveled at her ability to forgive. How easy it was for her. Me? I could hold grudges for a lifetime.
I was falling in love with her. It was like another wiggling root inside me, growing stronger every day. But instead of invasive, it felt like an embrace. Comforting. Warm.
All while knowing I would have to tear it out of me soon. Would I survive it?
“Yes, I believe that’s exactly what she would’ve wanted,” Millie said, nodding.
CHAPTER31
MILLIE
When I woke, I was warm and comfortable. It felt like I was sleeping on a cloud, my limbs suspended in nothing and yet cradled perfectly.
Kythel shifted behind me. One of his wings twitched where it was draped over the side of my body like a blanket, and I smiled sleepily, shifting around to face him.
His eyes were closed, but I knew he was awake. His stroking touch along my hip had woken me…unless I’d dreamed it.
I felt his claws skim my flesh and knew I hadn’t. Morning was breaking over Erzos like alaakegg, spilling out its creamy lilac yolk.
For a week I’d slept beside him. In his bed. In his private rooms within the keep. Ever since the first night we’d had sex, ever since he’d told me the truth about Ruaala, I thought we both knew how futile it was pretending to keep our distance from one another.
With every passing day, I’d begun to hope more and more than maybe the moon winds didn’t have to be our end. That perhaps Kythel could open himself up to me, allow me to slip inside the thick barriers he had stacked, high and impenetrable, where we could explore wherever this might lead us.
The moon winds were fast approaching, a little over a week away, but we hadn’t spoken about them—unless it was in connection with my father’s and Ruaala’s soul gems, and even then, mentions were fleeting.
I’d begun to breathe a little easier this last week. I’d begun to allow myself to grieve for my father now that I’d nearly fulfilled my promise to him. Of course, the cottage still needed many, many repairs, but I felt like I could take my time with it. I felt like I couldenjoythe process of it. Uncovering and caring for all the little details of the home. No longer did it feel like a burden with a time limit. Both their soul gems would be together. They’d be rooted in Erzos. That was all that mattered.
“Good morning,” I greeted Kythel. “You slept the whole night. Well…nearly,” I added, flashing him a teasing smile.
“I woke in the middle,” he confessed, his voice a gravelly rumble. “Azur wanted to speak on the Coms.”
Azur. His twin brother, I knew.
“What about?”
Kythel’s answered, “We spoke about Sorn Village—my plans there. He wanted updates on the South Road.”
“In the middle of the night?” I asked pointedly.
Azur had a humankyranatoo. Gemma of House Kaalium, the daughter of a disgraced war hero from the Collis, Rye Hara, who was now sitting in a prison cell awaiting trial.
Kythel said nothing. He was keeping something from me.
“Kythel?”
