That was when the grim realization of what I’d just done hit me.
Because I was meant to be distancing myself from her, and now…I’d just tied her to me in a way that I’d never be able to forget. Not for a single day for the remainder of my life.
“Fuck,” I breathed, running my hands over my horns, my wings beginning to stretch. I was restless. Energy buzzing under my skin in a way that felt like the beginnings of a rage. She didn’t need to see that. I wasn’t certain what I would do, that out of control with the tempting, lingering taste of her on my tongue. “Raazos’s blood. I need to leave.Now.”
She licked her bloodied bottom lip, and it took everything in me not to lunge for her.
“I shouldn’t have done that,” I growled, backing away to the door, my tone harsh. “I shouldn’t have kissed you, Millie. I need to leave. Before I do something we will both regret.”
Was that hurt that flickered over her face?
“Go,” she said quietly. “I understand. Just go, Kythel.”
“I’m sorry,” I said again. “I really am, Millie.”
She didn’t meet my eyes. Instead, she looked down at the pool of whiskey on the floor.
“I know,” she said.
Even though I felt like the coldest bastard in the entire universe, I left, nearly barreling the door right off its hinges once more.
Behind me, our perfect moment was left in ruins, glittering on the floor in a small pool, the taste of mykyrana’s blood on my tongue.
CHAPTER18
MILLIE
“Millicent,” came Lesana’s husky voice. “Kitchens with Draan tonight.”
The statuesque Kylorr female took the tray I’d been carrying into the lounge before passing it off to an unsuspecting Illaira.
“Illaira, you’re on duty in the lounge tonight.”
“But the common room is packed tonight,” she protested. “Tyaan can’t serve there alone.”
Lesana leveled her a hard look, one that had the other Kylorr female straightening, righting the tray on her arm.
“I’ll pull one of the givers to work the common room with him,” Lesana said, “until I can find Grace’s replacement.” To me, she repeated, “Kitchens.”
Which meant Kythel was here.
A fluttering started up in my chest, nerves mingled with excitement. It had been two days since that night in the cottage. He’d avoided me since, and just this morning, I’d told myself that was probably for the best, even as I’d felt disappointment and hurt settle deep.
Now? My treacherous heart leapt at the prospect that he was here as I turned down the hallway to the kitchens. Even Draan’s grouchiness wouldn’t dampen the sudden lightness that took root inside me. I smiled at him brightly despite the way he grumbled and pointed wordlessly to a mound ofdavrinthat needed cleaning.
Two hours later, even when my hair was sticking to my forehead from the steamy kitchen and I’d accidentally cut my finger when my slick grip had slipped from a knife, I was still feeling hopeful. I would tell Draan I was heading out for a break soon.
I wanted to talk with Kythel about that night, especially about that kiss. A kiss I had replayed over and over in my mind.
I didn’t want him to think I was angry about the whiskey. It had been an unfortunate accident, but I didn’t think I’d expressed that very well to him.
Illaira came into the kitchens.
“Stewedwyldenfor two in the lounge,” she said.
She could’ve placed the order through the Com tablets, but I got the sense that she needed a brief reprieve. I watched her lean against the black metal prep counter, snagging a marinatedlaakegg I’d prepared and popping it into her mouth. Her eyes closed in delight. I smiled.
“How are you holding up?” I asked her, wiping my brow before cleaning my knife on a wet cloth.
