CHAPTER15
MILLIE
When my father and I had made the link jump between Horrin and the port of Jobar, we’d been on an old rickety commercial cruiser. The captain had needed to turn off the lights in the cabins to channel the spare power into the jump drive.
I’d never experienced a link jump like that before. It had beenfrightening. A flood of adrenaline had made me shake in my seat when the lights had gone out. My head had gone heavy. My mouth had gone dry. When we’d diverted enough power to the jump drive, it had felt like my stomach had bottomed out, and I’d felt like I was falling from the pointed tip of a mountain as space had seemed to shrink around us.
Looking into Kythel’s faceted, icy gaze, I thought about that particular link jump because this moment felt eerily similar to it.
He wanted to understand?
Why?
What would aKyzaireof the Kaalium care?
Then I felt guilty for thinking he wouldn’t. There weren’t any rules or limitations on the kindness of people.
“My father and Ruaala,” I began. I backed away from his touch because it made my skin prickle. My shoulders ached from carrying the pack on my back. My forearm throbbed from the bucket, callouses beginning to develop over my palm. “They weren’t just friends. They loved one another. Deeply.”
Kythel’s expression didn’t even flicker.
“Star-crossed,” I whispered, admitting that that word had flittered through my mind on a seemingly endless loop since Grace had spoken it two nights before. “You know that life took them in different directions. But my father never stopped loving her. Writing to her. Thinking about her. That’s why he wanted to return to Krynn. He wanted to find her, but we found no trace of her in Erzos. One of the last places he visited before he left for Horrin was here. Right here. I found his cloak inside the cottage.”
Kythel’s gaze drifted to the open door, into the depth of darkness beyond it.
“I have letters he wrote her,” I told Kythel, taking a deep breath. “In them, he referenced this cottage a lot. He called it their realm. Their private realm. Their quiet place. Where they could pretend—”
My voice cracked. I cleared it, my gaze straying past Kythel’s wings.
“Where they could pretend to live a different life. The life they both wanted—together,” I finished, my eyes going glassy. “All I want is to give this place back to them.”
I gave him a wavering smile. “Do you understand now?”
We regarded one another for a long time.
Kythel finally inclined his head, and I felt hope seize in my chest.
“Will you let me?” I asked.
“For now,” he clipped out. Relief spread. I grinned. “Against my better judgment,” he added, his gaze narrowing on me. “If you intend to be here long, you need azylarrplaced nearby. It’s not healthy to be surrounded by so many wandering souls—you need to channel them, you need to feed them.”
“Azylarr,” I repeated. “Right. Where would I get one? In Erzan?”
“I’ll bring one,” he said, tone harsh, like the words were being pulled from his throat.
“You will?” I asked, warmth spreading in my chest like runny honey.
His nostrils widened with his sharp exhale. He didn’t answer me. Instead, he nudged past me and went to the crooked door.
“Why are you here anyway?” Kythel asked. “I thought Lesana would need you at thedyaan.”
“It’s the afternoon,” I reminded him, lips quirking. “I don’t work all the time, you know. I don’t have to be back until a little before nightfall. Besides…”
“What is it?” he prompted when I paused too long.
Slowly, I slipped the straps from my shoulder and lowered the pack off my back. I placed it on the table I’d lugged outside the night before. The surface was dry, thanks to the bright, sunny day.
“My friend left RaanaDyaanthis morning. For good,” I told him quietly. “I didn’t think I’d feel so sad about it. But it seemed quiet this morning. I didn’t want to be there.”
