“So that night, when you said that you werebeneath me,” he rasped. I flinched, remembering the ugly words. “It couldn’t be further from the truth, Millie.”
“And what’s the truth?” I whispered.
“That I’m fucking miserable without you,” he exclaimed, tone harsh, his shoulder slumped. He was breathing hard, but he made an effort to lower his voice as he said, “That you’re all I want, and that I would give anything to go back to that night and tell you that I loved you too. That’s the truth, Millie. It took almost losing you to make me realize that I can’t live without you.”
I was stunned speechless, his honest words lingering between us like the beautiful fragrance of the garden blooms.
“But I know it’s a lot to ask,sasiral,” he finished, bringing my hand up to his lips, brushing a kiss across my knuckles. “I know being with me will not be easy. This is not a life that many will choose, despite how it appears to outsiders. You know that. You know how difficult it would be—to marry into a family like mine.”
I did know. I’d told him many times that I didn’t envy him.
“You’ve chosen me,” I murmured softly. “You want to know if I’ll choose you.”
“I’ll be patient,” he said, skimming his fingers over my hand. “I promised you that. Until you decide.”
“Thank you for telling me. About Aina,” I said. “I do appreciate that, Kythel.”
He inclined his head. “I should have told you a long time ago.”
I was worried about him. There was a tightness around his eyes that hadn’t been there before.
Because he hasn’t been feeding,I knew. It was obvious to me. My father had sometimes grown weaker, more on edge when it had been too long. Food would only sustain a Kylorr to a certain point, especially a full-blooded Kylorr.
“You need to feed, Kythel,” I said softly. Even if I wasn’t certain about where we stood, I didn’t want him to suffer. I cared about him. I loved him. And he looked worn down. “It’s been too long.”
When I went to move my hair away from my neck, he rasped, “No.”
“No?” I asked, frowning.
He wanted it, and I wanted to ease some of his strain. He went still, the sudden hunger in his gaze dizzying when he looked at me.
“I’m fine, Millie,” he told me, smoothing my hair back into place, shielding my neck from his view. “I’ve been feeding on blood rations. I just haven’t been sleeping.”
I didn’t want that either. He needed the rest. Deep down, I knew it was because of me.
“It’s getting dark,” Kythel said. I had the impression it was to change the subject away from feeding. “I’ll take you back to Grace’s cottage.”
But for the first time since that night before the moon winds…the thought of leaving him filled me with disappointment and longing.
“All right,” I said quietly.
CHAPTER43
MILLIE
Long after Grace had gone to bed, I was sitting at the table in the front room, listening to the quiet—the creak of the window shutters from the gentle breeze, the brief musical chirping of nocturnal insects in the tall grass outside, the hum of my Halo orb as it twirled around my head.
I was listening to the quiet when I heard a heavy thud land outside in the meadow. Anticipation rose, an automatic response. I thought it might be Kythel, and I was hurrying to the door, opening and closing it carefully behind me, intent on meeting him.
Only it wasn’t Kythel.
“Azur?” I asked, my eyes widening in surprise. “I mean…Kyzaire. I apologize—I didn’t…”
“None of that, Millie,” Azur cut in, shaking his head, peering at me with an expression that reminded me of Kythel. Enough to make me jolt. It was an observant, assessing look, as if he could see to my very bones, all of me exposed. “I know it’s late, but I won’t be long.”
I crossed my arms over my chest, tucking my shawl around me tighter.
“I didn’t realize you were still in Erzos,” I commented, nervous.
