“There’s a small forest beyond the meadow,” I said, tilting my head to gesture to the darkness. Chirping insects with flickering light trails illuminated the edge of the clearing. They left a luminous pink powder in their wake from their wings, which dissipated in the gentle wind. “I’ll carry you.”
“No,” she said quickly. “I’ve been sitting all day. I’d like to stretch my legs.”
It was better than her shutting me out, I supposed. “As you wish.”
We walked together in the quiet, her feet swishing softly through the short grass, peppered with wildflowers, though their blooms were closed up in the moonlight.
“Grace has offered to let me live with her here,” Millie said suddenly. I didn’t react, my pace steady, though my jaw tightened at the declaration. “I’ve decided to take her up on it.”
“No,” I said.
Millie froze. “No?”
I turned to face her. We’d only made it to the middle of the meadow before we’d started arguing.
“Someone threatened your life, Millie. Until I know for certain who that person is, then you’ll remain at the keep, where I can protect you myself.”
“I’m not a prisoner there,” she argued, her brow furrowing. She wasn’tangry, I realized. Because she’d expected my protest?
“Do I make you feel like a prisoner?” I wondered. “You’re free to go wherever you please. If you want to go into town, you know you only need to take a guard.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“I almostlost you, Millie,” I exclaimed suddenly, cupping her cheeks with my palms, needing her to understand. She blinked as she peered up at me, her expression somber. “I willnevergo through that again.”
It still haunted me. Thepossibilityof that night. If I had been moments too late. If Azur hadn’t journeyed to the keep, if he hadn’t seen the fire in the distance. If I had continued to feel sorry for myself, sitting in the wreckage of my office as mykyranaburned to death, crushed by a falling ceiling or suffocated by smoke.
It had shaken me to my very core.
I’d thought Aina’s death had changed me? Even Ruaala’s death? Those were nothing compared to what I felt now.
“So until I find whoever was responsible for the fire, for your attempted murder,” I said, catching her flinch, “because that is what it was…I need you to remain close, Millie.”
“You can’t protect me forever, Kythel,” she said.
“You already told me that,” I said. “And I nearly failed you. I will not make that mistake again.”
Our eyes held.
“I’ve made too many mistakes with you already,” I told her gruffly.
Her gaze shuttered. I mourned the loss of her when she stepped away.
“Yes, you’ve made that perfectly clear.”
I scowled. “That’s not what I meant, Millie.”
“Let me speed this up for you,” she said, straightening her shoulders. “I believe that House Arada, perhaps even Lesana, had something to do with the fire. And believe me, I wouldn’t lob an accusation around like that, especially against a noble House, unless I was relatively certain.”
When my expression didn’t change, she shifted on her feet, looking down at the grass that separated us.
“But you already know that,” she said quietly. “Which puts you in a very uncomfortable position, considering you’re marrying Lyris.”
“I’m not marrying Lyris,” I growled out. “I had decided that even before the fire.”
She stilled. Softly, she asked, “You did?”
“I’ve made a mess of things,sasiral,” I said, softening my tone. All I wanted to do was pull her into me, feel her heart thud against my skin, breathe in her scent, though it would send my venom pooling on my tongue. But this wasn’t about feeding or sex. I missed those things with her, obviously…but I missedhermore. “I swear on Raazos, on Alaire, that I will do everything I can to be worthy of your love again.”
