This monster, tearing apart every single thing I could get my claws into? Was this who was best for the Kaalium? For Erzos? For my family? Was this who would lead us in a war against the Kylorr across the seas?
Wasthiswho Millie loved?
Enough,I thought, the word clear, stopping me in my tracks after I toppled my desk over, sending everything I hadn’t already destroyed flying to the ground.
Enough.
When reality returned, my office was utterly destroyed. Bits of parchment were still floating in the air, the breeze coming in from the smashed window carrying them toward the door.
I raked my hands through my hair and stumbled back against the wall, my boots crunching in glass. When I slid down, I felt a jagged edge of the pane scrape against my wing, scratching against bone and sensitive membrane, but I welcomed the pain.
* * *
“What in Raazos’s blood…”came a familiar voice.
My brow furrowed, and I raised my head from my hands.
“What are you doing here?” I rasped, though there was no bite in my words. They felt hollow. They felt like I wasn’t even here. They felt like this was a dream, a nightmare. Me, sitting in the shattered fractures of glass, my father’s words repeating over and over in my mind, all while thinking about Millie. Because she never left. I was aching for her—for her blood, for her warmth, for her smile.
It was becoming more and more apparent to me what I’d done. What I’d lost.
“Vadyn sent for me,” Azur said, stepping into the dark office. It was night now, I realized. Just how long had I been sitting here? “For good reason.”
“He heard?” I asked, not even caring enough to be embarrassed.
“Who didn’t?” Azur asked. “All your keepers look spooked.”
I closed my eyes.
“I am too,” my brother admitted softly, approaching me, his boots treading over fabric and filling and broken Halo Com parts and light orbs I didn’t even realize I’d gone after. “I’ve never…I’ve never seen you like this, Kythel. But I felt something today—I knew something was wrong. I flew straight here. Did you go berserk?”
“I don’t know,” I admitted. I had cuts on my hands and arms, I realized, though the blood had long dried. “I don’t think so.”
Azur crouched down next to me, and I leaned my head back against the wall, regarding my twin with a tight jaw. He looked concerned. Usually, it was the other way around.
“Why didn’t youtellme?” he asked, his tone softly aghast. “Kaldur and Thaine knew, but you didn’t even tellmethat you’d found yourkyrana?”
“They were there when I first saw her,” I said, tired.
“What kind of excuse is that?”
“It’s not one,” I said. “I didn’t know how to tell you.”
“It’s quite simple,” Azur said.
“Is it?” I wondered.
He went quiet. Then asked, “What happened?”
“Father.”
“Vaan,” Azur cursed, letting out a deep sigh and sitting in the glass, back leaning against the upturned legs of my desk. “Tell me.”
So I did. I told him everything. About Millie, our agreement, Kaan and Lyris of House Arada, RaanaDyaan, and what had happened in the last few days, including my conversation with our father.
Every word I spoke felt like a scab being picked off a deep, infected wound, letting it drain. It feltgood.
And when I was done, Azur was regarding me with a solemn expression.
