Was she trying to call the bluff?
“I won’t,” I said. I’d already told her in a battle of wills and stubbornness, I would win. “Because I do mean it.”
A huff left her throat. Humorless and dry. I was backing her into a corner. Trapping her there until her choices were taken away. Even I hated me. I could see I was the villain in this and I would always be.
This will be easier, I thought.
It would be easier if she hated me. That way, we would never be in any danger of other emotions entering into our marriage. Emotions made us weak, after all.
“Do you agree to the joining or not?” I prompted, leveling her a cold gaze. When I recounted this to Valavik in the morning, he would shake his head at me. He would tell me how ill-advised it was to make my future queen hate me before we’d even performed thetassimara.
What was it about Mina that made everything I did sodifficult? Was it because I still harbored bitterness about my capture? Was it because I realized my weaknesses and vulnerabilities with her?
A laugh sounded from her throat.
I offered her marriage, to a horde king of Dakkar, a marriage where she would never want for anything, a marriage where she would have the protection of a horde, and she laughed in my face.
“Why ask me?” she wondered when her laugh died, as suddenly as it had appeared. “You’ve already ensured that I have no choice.”
Chapter Thirty-One
“Come dry your hair by the fire,Missiki,” the Dakkari female said.
She’d taken to calling me that.
Missiki.
When I’d asked her what it meant, she told me it meant ‘mistress.’ And that onlypikiwere allowed to call me that…which had only led to more questions.
The female’s given name was Hukri.
She’d told me that the morning after Rowin announced his intentions to take me as his queen. HisMorakkari. Hukri had entered thevolikithat morning, bowed her head, and told me in a soft, hushed voice that it would give her great honor if I knew her name.
In the past couple days, I’d learned a lot about the Dakkari. Hukri was a patient teacher and seemed more than happy to answer my endless questions. And so, I knew all aboutpiki—a valued position among the horde as they were seen as confidants to theMorakkari—and daily horde life and where the horde had come from and where they were planning to go.
I knew much about moon cycles, about how the fullness of the moon dictated certain celebrations but only during certain seasons, and whether they were allowed to eat a certain kind of meat that month. Hukri had painstakingly helped me memorize the map of Dakkar which hung against the wall. Since Rowin had left me unchained, I could brush my fingers over the lines and I repeated the Dakkari words, committing the swirling letters to memory. I learned about the different territories. I learned about the borders that made up the east, west, north, and south and all the places in between.
I learned aboutDothikand since Hukri was born there—and studied there—she’d told me much. And in so much detail that I could almost envision the cobbled streets, theDothikkar’ssoaring, golden palace, and the bustle of the market stalls that sold oils and perfumes and jeweled baubles and cloth so silky it felt like water running through your hands.
I learned about Hukri too. About theungiraencounter she’d had when she first ventured out onto the wild lands, which left her with the deep scar down her face. How it had been a warrior that had come to her aid, that had helped see her well. She told me they’d fallen in love, that their daughter had been born under bright, blessed stars and that she was carrying again. She felt it was another daughter, which she said delighted her warrior husband.
Hearing the female talk emptied a little of my loneliness that had been bottled up for years. She’d been my constant companion for the last two days. And though I knew she was here in duty—duty to herVorakkar—I also thought that we were building a friendship, little by little. Apiki’sduty was to serve aMorakkari, but she’d also told me that with time, they became trusted companions as well.
“Missiki,” Hukri said again, waving me over to the fire, her lips pursed as she studied me. I heard drums in the distance and every beat of them made me want to drag this out even longer. “Your hair.”
I blew out a breath and approached. Once she got me situated in front of the basin, I could feel the waves of heat at my back, sinking into the strands, making my neck tingle. Hukri went to the table, snagging a goblet made of white bone from the tray that had been delivered.
“Here,” she said, handing it to me. If she noticed the way my hands shook, she didn’t say anything. “Drink a little to help ease your nerves.”
With relief, I brought the dark wine to my lips. The strong fermented drink burned a path down my throat, settling comforting heat in my belly. I hadn’t said a word this night.
“You have nothing to fear,Missiki,” Hukri whispered. I could see the concern etched into her face. “TheVorakkaris an honorable male. He will treat you well in marriage. And you will be queen to the horde.”
I would’ve laughed had I not had the sudden urge to cry. An honorable male? She didn’t know that I had only agreed to this because he’d threatened to kill what remained of my village.
And this night, I was expected tolaywith him. To take him and his seed deep into my body. I wasn’t a fool. I knew what happened between males and females. Hukri herself had told me to slickuudunsalve between my thighs the morning after once I confessed to her I’d never been with a male.
I took another sip of the wine. And one more for good measure before Hukri pulled the goblet away.
