I didn’t know what to say. But I did remember the food. It was the first time I’d ever had meat so tender. It was the first time I’d ever feltenergizedfrom a meal. Everyone had been in high spirits that season, despite the bone-aching cold.
I’d been sixteen then. I’d just started my bleeding rotations and when the horde king came that day, I’d been nauseous from the aches in my womb.
And still…
“My father took me away when you came to the gates,” I told him, dropping the cloth in the bowl with a wet thud. When I looked down at my hands, they were tinged black with his blood and I rinsed them in the basin. “I remember being so angry with him because I wanted to see the Dakkari. I wanted to seeyou,” came the quiet confession.
He met my eyes again. I wondered if any of the others who’d been there that day recognized him.
“So you couldn’t have seen me,” I said. “But I remember the day well.”
Understanding seemed to pass between us, the longer we held one another’s gaze.
“Is your village leader still alive?” he asked.
Song.
I rocked back on my heels. “No.”
He’d been killed.
“Where’s your father now?” he asked next, his gaze searching. Seeking something that I knew was long lost.
I swallowed. Looking down at the basin, I gathered it up, knowing I couldn’t do anything more for him with what I had available to me.
“Buried in the north,” I whispered. I hadn’t spoken for weeks after his death. “I marked the place with a piece of gold shaped like a star. I found it while digging his grave. I like to think your goddess gave it to me for him. But I’m certain it’s long gone now.”
I stood and turned towards the torch, reaching out for it in its perch on the wall.
“We call the north theorala sa’kilan,” came his quiet words. “The frozen haven. Time stops there, as I’m sure you know. But if you ever return, you will find his grave just as you left it, the star of gold and all.”
The words were beautiful. My heart ached with the sentiment behind them. The thought that, in the north, my father was at peace and his rest was undisturbed and unbroken. With Kakkari’s gold protecting him, as if the Dakkari’s goddess cared aboutustoo.
“Orala sa’kilan,” I whispered, turning to look over my shoulder at him. I’d been speaking too much. I tasted the blood from my lip, which was beginning to split again.
The horde king inclined his head, his eyes glowing in the darkness.
I…hadn’t known what to expect this night. I’d expected his anger. His barely concealed hatred. His seeping coldness. In my foul mood that evening, I’d even welcomed it.
Instead, he’d surprised me in the most unexpected of ways. He’d almost been…kindto me.
“I’ll return tomorrow night,” I told him. “Try not to enrage him before then. I’m running out of cloth.”
I didn’t need to say Benn’s name aloud. The horde king’s tail flicked across the ground.
“No promises,sarkia,” he said.
Now that I had tasted some of his words, I was greedy for more.
“What does that mean?” I asked, tugging the torch away from the wall. “Sarkia?”
Only this time, he didn’t tell me. His silence stretched towards me and I realized he wasn’t going to answer.
Before I left, I pressed my ear to the door. It was thick, however, and there was no guarantee that Emmi wasn’t awake just outside of it.
“Who struck you?” came the quiet question. The first one he’d asked me tonight, repeated again.
“Who do you think?” was all I asked in response.
