And I started from the very beginning.
I started with Mina and the fog.
* * *
Okan wasrestless beneath me but I did what I did every night. I patrolled the edge of the fog, guiding Okan against its barrier.
And as always, I wasstilllooking for answers. Nothing had changed. Only now, I was more desperate for them than ever. I thought that I could find what I was looking for within the depths of it. The answer that would bring myMorakkariback to me.
The last of the sun’s rays faded from the cloudless sky. Soon, the stars would make themselves known. The moon was almost full, however, so their bright light would be dimmed.
I will do anything, I thought, staring into the endless sea of red before me.
“I will do anything you ask of me, if only you bring her back,” I rasped.
But like always, my pleas went unanswered.
I wanted to roar my fury and frustration and longing and grief far and wide across the plains. I wanted all of Dakkar to hear me. I wanted to wake theDothikkarin his gilded halls with it. I wanted—
I blew out a sharp breath.
I just wantedher.
Leaning down, I spread my palm down Okan’s long, scaled neck. His head shook in pleasure, preening into my touch.
I would never know the true extent of her pain that night under the Dead Mountain. I would never truly know what she had sacrificed for the horde, for her villagers, forme. I had only felt a remnant of it, a piece.
“She is strong.”
Those words rose from me.
“She is strong, Kakkari,” I murmured. “And you will not take her from me. I forbid it.”
Perhaps it wasn’t wise to command a goddess but I was growing desperate.
A breeze kicked up and sent a chill racing up my spine, curling underneath my furs. Though we were approaching the warm season, the nights were still cold. Bitterly cold.
Return to the horde, came the thought.
I would not find the answers I sought out here. I needed to be with Mina. That was the only place I wanted to be.
And so I turned from the red fog. I turned my back on the thing that had not only brought me to my wife but that had caused so much pain. An emotional duality that was difficult to come to terms with, that was difficult to fathom: the purest of joys in finding her and the bone-aching grief of knowing it had taken so much.
I made for my horde.
But as I neared the gates, I saw Valavik riding out to meet me, hispyrokisprinting at full speed, kicking up billows of dust in his wake.
That was when I saw the fires of the horde being lit, though they had already been dimmed for the night. I heard the voices, the startled commotion. Okan sped, sensing my sudden haste. My heart seized in my chest as mypujerakneared.
What had happened? Was it Mina?
Hope speared through me when I saw the expression on Valavik’s features.
“Tell me.”
“She’s awake, Rowin!” Valavik called out. “TheMorakkariis awake!”
Chapter Fifty-Five
