I made a sound in the back of my throat before releasing her arm. She folded her hands and rested them against my lower abdomen, her flesh cold even after our hot bath and her filling meal.
Something prickled at the back of my neck, chilling me, and I turned my head, looking into the shadows—peering into them, afraid that they would peer back. But I found nothing and then the sensation was gone, allowing me to relax.
It was strange that it would happen now anyways. I’d gotten a lot of sleep and felt rested and centered.
Because of Vienne?
A silence stretched but it wasn’t uncomfortable. There was just an unspoken question between us, filling the space, and Vienne nibbled on her lip as she watched me.
“Just tell me,” I started, “if your dream was about me. If you saw another of my memories.”
I had worried over it since she’d woken two nights ago, terrified that she’d seen the events of that night…or perhaps when Mala used to fuck me and use me…or the night when I’d been covered in blood, a lifeless body at my feet deep in theDothikkar’swoods, as my laugh boomed through the deadened trees.
Vienne’s grey eyes drifted down to my lips and she reached up to place a hand on my chest. She liked touching me. I liked her touching me.
“Yes,” she whispered. “It’s just that…I’m not entirely sure itwasyours.”
“What does that mean?”
She went quiet, debating something in that mind of hers.
“Your sister was there,” she told me and I stiffened. “It was…”
“Did I…” I trailed off, licking my lips, my throat tightening. “Did I do anything terrible?”
She frowned. “No.”
Relief whistled through me at her confusion. So she hadn’t seen any of the memories I feared she’d see. And maybe she never would. Maybe if she stopped touching and connecting with my emotions, the memories would stop.
“I don’t want you to go into my mind anymore, Vienne,” I told her, keeping my voice low. “You said my memories are the first you have ever dreamed, so maybe they will stop with time…as long as I don’t feed them to you anymore.”
“Feed them to me?” she asked, her eyes flashing. “I’m not like a parasite, Davik. I don’t mean to see them. I don’twantto. It just happens. And besides—”
She cut herself off and I could see that my words had struck a nerve. I sighed. Whatever she’d been about to say was lost as her irritation rose.
“I am sorry,leikavi,” I murmured, apologizing to her for the second time in a handful of days when I truly didn’t remember the last time I’d apologized to anyone, though it had probably been to Devina…or mylomma. “I did not mean it that way. But there are things that I have done, moments in my past that I do notwantyou to see,” I confessed.
The anger in her tight expression began to soften. “Like what?”
I huffed out a small breath. “Moments of rage. Moments when I’ve killed. Moments I’ve...” I trailed off, trying to ease the tightness rising in my chest. My voice was gruff and hardened when I said, “They are momentsIdo not even want to relive again. I do not want you to either.”
Because then…she truly might understand what I’d told her weeks ago. That I truly was a monster.
And what would happen then?
She would fear me. She might recoil from my touch.
InDothik, when I’d brought her into my personal chamber from the dungeons, I’dwantedher to fear me. But now?
It would tear at me if she did.
“Do not go into my mind anymore, Vienne. Promise me.”
“I don’t know if Icanpromise that, Davik,” she whispered.
My brows furrowed.
“My gift keeps me safe, no matter how much I don’t like to use it.”
