“Until you leave, being associated with me could make life difficult for you here,” he said. “I just want you to be safe.”
Her eyes were glassy and she looked down to the floor, breaking their gaze.
“No matter what happens, I am glad the Fates led me to you,rixella,” he said softly. A small breath escaped her. “I want you to know that.”
When she looked up, Jaxor was surprised by the desperation, by the flash of determination and fear in her gaze. But the longer she looked at him, that emotion faded slowly. She looked on the verge of saying something. He’d seen it before…back at his base, when she meant to say a different thing, but decided not to at the last moment.
“I know, Jaxor,” was all she said.
He was left to wonder what went unsaid between them.
* * *
Erin was just leavingJaxor’s room in the command center when she saw Vaxa’an striding towards her. The only guard that stood watch inclined his head to the Prime Leader, keeping his gaze averted to the floor.
Vaxa’an was alone, his gaze flitting to the door his brother was behind.
“How is he?” Vaxa’an asked.
Erin couldn’t quite meet his eyes. Her face felt heated and her belly roiled in nausea. She felt like her heart was breaking all over again…except this time, she was the cause. And it stemmed from knowing that she was causing her mate unfathomable pain.
I’m a coward, she thought. She was nothing but a coward. She’d come there with the purpose of telling Jaxor that she was pregnant, that she would help him at whatever cost.
Instead, she made him think that she didn’t care for him.
Erin didn’t know how to answer Vaxa’an’s question. “I just want to help him,” she finally whispered. “But he…he wants…”
He wanted her to forget him. He wanted her to deny that their bond had ever existed. He wanted her to turn her back on him.
Why?
To make life easier for her.
And she’d said nothing. She’d stood there, frozen like a fool.
What must he think of me? she wondered, ashamed.
“I will take you back to the Ambassador terrace,” Vaxa’an said, leading her through the command center. When they were outside the door, Erin was startled to see that it was already dark. Night and sparkling stars were laid before her, stretching over the Black Desert.
After they boarded the hovercraft, she looked over her shoulder at the doors leading to the command center. She felt the distance stretched between her and Jaxor. It made her ache. It made her want to vomit.
Vaxa’an said to her, “I had a thought while in a meeting with the council this span. Something that could help Jaxor’an’s trial.”
For the first time, Erin heart thudded not with pain…but with hope. “What is it?”
“Public opinion can sway the council’s decision during trial periods. Not often, but it has happened in our history,” Vaxa’an said quietly, the words quick.
“What…what did you have in mind?”
Vaxa’an piloted the hovercraft, using familiar motions with ease over the silver pad. Only when they left the command center did he say, “The public of the Golden City does not yet know about the vaccine we acquired from the Jetutians. Thatyouacquired.”
Erin went still, her mind racing with that news. She wondered why the city had seemed…quiet. “You didn’t want them to know?”
“Not yet. They do not know about Kossira either. Privanax is running his tests on the vaccine, but I did not want it announced until we were certain. But it could be lunar cycles…rotations even for Privanax to replicate it. Jaxor’an does not have that time.”
They were approaching the Golden City fast. It was beautiful. Erin had never seen it lit up at night from afar, but the whole terraced mountainside glowed in soft yellow lights. Vaxa’an pulled the hovercraft to a stop and they floated in mid-air, the soft rushing of the wind quieting around them.
He turned to her and said, “If the public knew that Jaxor’an had a hand in procuring a treatment from the Jetutians—a treatment that could help restore the fertility of our females—I am certain there would be protests about his trial. He would be seen as a hero, a defender of his people. Not just in the Golden City but throughout the outposts as well.”
