Then the grey rings of his irises widened, his jaw clenching.
Perhaps he was a demon who would steal my soul away, but I looked back at him and I lookedclose. I wasn’t afraid anymore. And as I looked, as his light grey eyes bore into mine, I felt like hewasconsuming my soul. Jana had been right.
“Nik,” he breathed. “Nik.”
Hovering in that place between death and life, perhaps a little crazed with pain and loneliness and the sound of silence from my fellow villagers, I whispered through dry lips, “One, two, three. You said five, horde king.”
Chapter Three
Reeling, as disbelief faded into horror, I stared into the dark eyes of this female…and I saw it.
Kakkari’s light, her guiding force. It manifested in different ways for different Dakkari, but it was unmistakable and undeniable. I’d experienced it twice before in my lifetime, though notthroughanother, and it had led me to this.
Toher?
For a moment, I was suspended, frozen in place, speared by her dark eyes and the knowing within them.
As a horde king of Dakkar, I’d endured much. I’d killed many. I’d saved more. I’d protected my horde and punished those that threatened it.
And as I stared down at this human female looking back at me, shivering against the pain of the whip—pain I knew well—I felt exposed. I felt as if she’d peeled back my flesh and exposed the monster underneath, when I’d never wanted to be one, when I had sworn in whispers during the night that I would never become one.
“Vorakkar?” the horde warrior called out, his bloodied whip poised, waiting for my order.
“Nik,” I choked out, holding up my hand. “Pevkell!”
Enough.
“Will you kill me now?” she whispered, tears tracking down her cheeks. Her face was so dirty that the tears streaked her skin.
She thought me a monster. And I was. No better than the bloodthirsty Ghertun that roamed our lands, killing and pillaging for the sake of it.
“Nik,kalles,” I rasped out.No, female. “I was never going to kill you.”
I heard the truth of that in my own frayed voice, but Ihadalways meant to punish her, though I had never harmed a female—Dakkari orvekkiri—before in my lifetime.
Her eyes slid shut and I felt like I could breathe again, without the weight of her eyes. Dread rolled in my belly. It was the same dread from last night, when I’d watched her in the darkness. Had I known then? Had I sensed Kakkari’s pull in this female even then?
She has the strength of aVorakkar, I thought, restlessness rising in my chest. She was small, young yet somehow old, with bones as delicate as athissie. She looked half-starved, unwashed, and her clothes were not suitable for the coming cold season. They hung off her in rags. Yet she’d withstood the lashes of the whip. She hadn’t looked at her fellow villagers, but rather, she’d looked beyond them. She hadn’t told me who was responsible for thekinnuherd thinning, though there was obviously a lack of loyalty on their side.
“Vorakkar,” mypujerak,my second-in-command, called out.
“Neffar?” I snarled, my nostrils flaring. I looked up at him and I realized that he was watching me carefully, as were my horde warriors beyond him. He had expected me to execute her. Swiftly, easily, as was my duty whenvekkiribroke the laws of ourDothikkar, our king. Perhaps that would’ve been more merciful.
Vodan, mypujerak, looked stunned by my reaction. I’d never once lost my temper, I’d never once lost control of my tightly restrained emotions.
Bury them deep, my son, so you never know the pain of them.Only then will you be powerful.
My mother’s words came to me and I bit out a curse under my breath, realizing that I was being watched by all, even thevekkiribehind me.
The villagers all looked half-starved and exhausted themselves, save for a few.
It is true then, I realized.The rumors that the human settlements are failing.
The Uranian Federation were not providing for their refugees, as promised to the Dakkari when a deal had been settled on after the Old War. When had the last ration shipment dropped? It looked like it had been at least a year.
And I had just whipped a young female hunter who had only tried to feed herself and her village. Because it was just one thing among many that myDothikkarrequired of me.
Buthedid not see what I saw right then. He did not feel what I felt rising within me, the horror of my actions. Seated in the capitol ofDothik, surrounded by his luxuries and his females and his feasts, how could he understand this?
