Her laugh was lyrical and light. “Lysi, he may have. But I wanted your permission to use it.”
“Well, you certainly have it.”
She smiled at me. I was suddenly struck with a fierce emotion, one of grief. Because when I left this place once the thaw came, I wouldn’t only be leaving Seerin behind, but her, and her father’s teachings, and her son following me around repeating my words, and nights in the training grounds with her brother.
“What is wrong, Nelle?” she asked, frowning when she saw my expression.
“Nothing,” I said, shaking my head, forcing a small smile. “I’m just…happy.”
With the exception of what had happened with Seerin, I realized Iwashappy. Happier than I could ever remember being, even when Jana had been alive. I felt useful here in the horde. I felt like I was slowly carving a place for myself here. I feltfree. I feltsafe.
But it wouldn’t last.
Nothing did, I was reminded.
However, instead of dwelling on it, I pushed it from my mind. I would spend my months in the horde embracing that happiness, that contentedness, as long as it lasted. And once I had to return to my village, I would remember my time here, I would remember Seerin and my friends fondly, and those memories would sustain me. Wouldn’t they?
It was no use to think about anything else. Because I was quite determined to make the best of it.
That thought was still at the forefront of my mind when, later that night, Seerin finally came to me.
Some of my anger had drained over the course of the last few days, but I was still hurt. I was still confused. I still wanted him. I stillmissedhim.
So, when I saw him duck inside myvolikiwithout warning that night, I drank him in. Somehow, he’d grown even more handsome over the last few days, despite the strained look in his eyes that I knew didn’t belong there.
We stood staring at one another as my heartbeat tried to thud its way from my chest.
“I cannot do this any longer, Nelle,” he rasped.
“Do what?” I asked softly.
“Stay away from you,” he rasped, raking a hand through his golden hair, his gaze flickering. I’d never seen him so…undone. So uncertain.
Though my breath hitched, I didn’t want to get my hopes up. I’d heard whisperings the past few days in camp that theVorakkarwas in a terrible mood, along with warnings not to cross paths with him.
I could see why unsuspecting members of the horde wouldn’t want to get in his way.
“Will you come with me?” he asked after a silent moment.
“Where?”
“Out on the plains,” he replied.
My brow furrowed. I still wanted to hear an apology for that night—I still wanted an explanation. Did this mean he wanted to talk?
Still…anywhere that wasn’t hisvolikiwas a much safer bet. And I’d always itched to go beyond the fence, hadn’t I?
Take advantage of your time here, I remembered.
“Alright,” I said hesitantly, but I couldn’t hide my frown. “I’ll come.”
He nodded, though I thought I spied relief in his gaze. “Dress warmly,” he said before ducking out, giving me privacy, which seemed so unlike him.
Inhaling a long breath, I found I was nervous as I pulled back on my fur-lined pants, a thick tunic, an even thicker fur sweater, and my pelt. My hair was still slightly wet from when I’d bathed in the commonvolikiearlier that evening and I stood over the fire, drying it as best as I could, before I pulled it back into a braid.
I was still securing it with a piece of black cloth when I emerged from the tent and saw Seerin standing next to apyroki.His pyroki, I realized.
For a moment, I froze, remembering the last clear memory I had of the beast. Of Seerin astride him, looking down at me with a cold gaze as I wondered if he would kill me.
