Even Vodan avoidedme the next day, as word of my darkened mood floated around the encampment.
It had begun in the training grounds that morning. I’d seen Nelle’s arrows embedded in the flagpole of my shield and had taken on opponent after opponent in an attempt to distract myself. Though I must’ve been especially ruthless that day, since no warrior would step forward after I defeated my ninth.
It didn’t help that I’d seen Nelle emerge from the weapons master’svoliki, the young Dakkari boy once again trailing her. Our eyes had connected just for a moment—I’d devoured the sight of her as if starved—before she jerked her gaze away and left the clearing without another glance.
My mood only blackened when I saw Odrii approach her from his place outside the fence where he’d been watching the training session, walking next to her and his nephew as they disappeared from sight together.
When a tenth brave warrior finally stepped forward, I defeated him with a ferocity that surprised even me.
The rest of the day passed slowly. The council meeting was cut short after it turned particularly vicious and I left towards thepyrokienclosure after dark.
“Ready mypyroki,” I told themrikrowhen I stopped.
“Lysi, Vorakkar,” he replied, inclining his head before hurrying towards Lokkas’ nest.
My beast was displeased to be roused that late, especially during the cold season, but once he saw me, his long neck straightened and he made a chirring sound in his throat, trotting over to me without themrikro’said.
I took him from the pen, telling themrikronot to wait, that I would settle him in his nest once I returned. Then I mounted his back and steered him towards the entrance of the encampment.
“You will be very displeased with me once we must return toDothik, my old friend,” I murmured down to him once we passed through the fence, once the land was open to us. I pressed my hand to the back of his neck, feeling his heart beat strongly against my palm.
Affection helped banish some of my darker thoughts. Lokkas had been with me since the beginning. I’d chosen him from theDothikkar’sbreeding grounds once I’d completed the Trials. He’d been small then, smaller than the rest, but I’d looked into his eyes and known that he would be mine. I’d felt Kakkari’s influence then too. We were bonded and always would be.
What affection could not distract me from, the open plains of Dakkar could. Lokkas needed no instruction. He knew what I needed and he began to race against the winds. It whipped in my ears until it was deafening.
A light snow had begun to fall, stinging my flesh, but I paid it no mind. My eyes drank in the lightened landscape, the moonlight reflecting off the ice and the snow that was beginning to blanket Dakkar. It was eerily beautiful. Haunting. Lethal.
The towering mountain range ofHitriin the distance met my gaze. Once the cold season was over, I would be leading my horde through it to the forests and valleys of the south.
Nelle would like to see it, I couldn’t help but think. My starling had lived on Dakkar for the majority of her life, yet had seen only a fraction of it. I wanted to show her the beauty of it, the vastness of it.
My growl was whipped away by the wind. Lokkas continued to sprint, stretching his legs, his claws digging deep into the ice as he went.
I didn’t know how long we were gone from the encampment. But once my mind felt quieter, once my flesh was tingling from the cold and I longed for a hot meal and a hot bath, I had Lokkas return us.
Once back at the enclosure, I guided Lokkas to his nest, pressing my hand to his heartbeat and murmuring soft words to him as he lay down.
“We leave forDothiksoon,” I told him. “But for now, rest deeply, my friend.”
I locked up thepyrokienclosure and made my way to myvoliki, my heavy boots crunching into the ice as I went, my ears ringing from the winds across the plains.
I had no intention of going to her. At least that was what I told myself when Nelle’svolikicame into view, a soft yellow light from inside making the domed tent glow like a lantern.
When I paused in front of it, I told myself that I had pushed her away for a reason. That she was dangerous. That there was no reason to go to her now.
But I was weak. Sovokkingweak. And last night, that day had left an uneasy, restless sensation in my chest. The need to see her, to look at her, outweighed every logical argument I could makenotto go to her.
With a curse, my heartbeat ticking up in speed, I ducked through the entrance of hervoliki.
She was standing at her cabinet, brushing through her hair. Hair I knew was soft, that ran through my fingers like silk. She was dressed in a long shift night dress. A new one from her seamstress friend? It was slightly transparent, given the fire in her basin was behind her, outlining the softening lines of her body and the dip of her waist.
My swallow was loud and hard. For once, words escaped me. I felt the ice crystals in my hair begin to thaw and drip down the side of my face.
Her eyes locked onto me, but she never stopped her brushing.
“Have you come to apologize?” she questioned softly.
I blinked. For once, her expression was unreadable. Or perhaps it was wary? I couldn’t tell and that frustrated me.
