My eyes went to her pendant, which hung around her neck, noticing there was one less, and then back to the feather tied around the arrow with slim black cord.
“It’s terrible, I know,” she said, looking down at it between my fingertips. “But the weapons master said it took him three days to create one, so I figured I have time to learn.”
Itwasterrible. The shaft of the arrow was bent, the metal fletching skewed. Yet it was the best thing I’d ever seen because of what it was…a gift. A precious one, judging from the feather tied to the flattened nock, because I knew how much those feathers meant to her.
“Vok,” I cursed softly, something rising in my chest, threatening to choke me. “Vok!”
Her face fell. Her voice went quiet when she asked, “You don’t like it?”
A memory rose in my mind, from the day I took her from her village, and I grabbed the back of her neck. Pressing my forehead to hers, I rasped, my voice bordering on anger, “How is it that no male in your village claimed you?”
“What?” she whispered, wide-eyed and bewildered.
“If I was avekkirimale in your village, I would have claimed you as my own long ago,rei thissie.”
She looked stunned by my words, words I probably should not have spoken out loud. Her lips parted but I didn’t hesitate. I kissed her hard, devouring her mouth the way I’d craved all day. It was almost punishing.
I poured my rage and my need into her. Her hands clutched at my chest and her little sounds of surprise drifted across my lips.
When she flinched, I realized I had gripped her waist too hard and my claws had pricked through the thick material of her tunic.
With a curse, I pulled away, dragging deep breaths into my nostrils.
“I should not have told you to come tonight,” I growled softly, avoiding her eyes, realizing that I still had her arrow pinched between my fingertips. “I am in a dark mood. You should leave.”
“I won’t, Seerin,” she said softly.
“Why?” I snarled.
“Because you’re my friend,” she explained easily, “and you said so yourself…I gave you my food so I must care for you.”
I closed my eyes, scrubbing a hand over my face.
“Tell me what’s wrong.”
I laughed. “What is wrong?” I repeated.
WithDothiklooming—knowing I would face not only theDothikkarbut my mother—with the fissures within the council, and the constant disapproval of my actions by my oldest friend, there was much to choose from.
But what I was angry about the most?
It was the realization that I wanted this female asmine. It was the realization that I wanted her in the most primal of ways, that I wanted to plant my seed deep in her belly, and have her at my side and under my furs as myMorakkari, as my wife, as mymate…just as Kakkari had shown me.
It was the realization that I wanted Nelle as mine and Icouldn’t have her. Not without risking alienating the rest of my council, mypujerak, and the horde. Not without risking the wrath of theDothikkar, who still thought of me as a bastardduvna. Despite what I’d told Nelle last night, theDothikkarstill held sway within the hordes and there were those that remained faithful to him even on the plains.
And the horde always come first, I repeated for the millionth time, as if I needed to remember.
My expression must’ve been thunderous, indeed, because she said, “Youarein a dark mood tonight, Seerin. But don’t worry, I’m not afraid.”
“You should be.”
“Will you hurt me?”
My brow furrowed and I growled out, “Nik.”
“Then why should I be afraid?”
Belatedly, staring down at the feather on the arrow, I realized that Iwouldhurt her. Before this was done. Just not in the way she referred to.
