“Him most of all,” Seerin said, a dark grin appearing. “He faced a lot of backlash for allowing me into the Trials. Even now, he seeks any reason to strip me of my title.”
“Can he do that?” I asked, frowning.
“Nik,” he said. “Short of treason, there is nothing he can do. The hordes have their own laws, though we must adhere to the laws of theDothikkaras well.”
“You are all kings in your own right,” I said.
His head inclined.
“What did the Trials consist of?” I questioned. Then a dark thought came to me and I asked, “The scars on your back…were they…?”
“It is the last challenge during the Trials,” he confirmed. Then he warned, “But I will tell you no more about them,thissie.”
Then they were barbaric, terrible challenges, I decided. Still, I couldn’t help but wonder what he’d gone through to get to where he was.
“Do you…”
“You have never been shy with your questions before,kalles. Why begin now?” he asked, his eyes holding a challenge.
“You said you had great plans for the horde.”
“I want it to be successful,” he told me, trailing his fingers over my exposed throat before running his hand back up to cup my cheek.
“Because you have something to prove? It already seems successful to me,” I told him honestly. “How would you measure your success?”
He exhaled sharply, his lips lifting. “Successful hordes last through the death of theirVorakkar. But I want my horde to never question that I did everything in my power to keep them safe. I never want them to know hunger, I never want them to know fear.”
I thought of Seerin as a young boy, leading his pack of wandering children. I pictured him sharing his mother’s gold. I pictured him going hungry so others could eat.
“And if you didn’t have the horde?” I asked. “What would you want for yourself, Seerin?”
His brow furrowed at my question, as if he’d never thought to ask himself that before.
“I hardly know,thissie,” he told me and I heard the truth in his voice. “What do you want?”
I swallowed. I said the first thing that came to mind. “It’s not that I want anything specifically, like riches or food. It’s just that I don’t want to go through life alone.” My mind flickered to Jana. “I don’t want my hair to turn grey and find that I’m still alone.”
It was my worst fear.
“Your hair will turn grey?” he rumbled, rubbing a few strands between his fingers.
“Yes. Eventually.” I gave him a small smile. “Maybe it will be grey like your eyes.”
His expression was unreadable. He was silent for a long moment. Then he was leaning into me again and his lips were on mine, nibbling at my mouth, wanting me to part for him again, to let him inside.
My head swirled and I reached forward to clutch his bare shoulders, my fingertips gripping his warm flesh. Why did this feel so good?Howcould this feel so good?
“Your hair is not yet grey, Nelle,” he rasped against my lips. “And right now? You are not alone.”
Chapter Twenty
There was a designatedvolikifor the weapons master near the training grounds. Truthfully, I was a little nervous, as I’d been the previous afternoon when I’d started work for the seamstress, mylirilla. But I was especially nervous, yet intrigued, to work for her father.
I ducked my head inside, too antsy to feel the cold weaving its way into my boots. The ground was frosted over throughout the encampment, my hands were numb, and my breath fogged in front of me, but I didn’t feel it.
“Hello?”
“Lysi, come, come,” the weapons master said, not looking up from the bench he was hunched over on the far wall. The first thing that hit me was the heat. It was sweltering inside the tent, which was arranged very, very differently than others I’d seen.
