“Maybe it takes a monster,” I said, meeting his eyes. “Maybe that is the only way.”
Vodan huffed out a sharp exhale, dismissing my words. “You believe you are a monster? I disagree. I believe that you have to be strong in order to best lead this horde. You cannot have mercy because mercy can kill. You cannot be swayed.” His eyes went to tent. “And this female? She sways you. She will.”
“The horde always come first. You know this,” I told him, furrowing my brow. “One female willneverchange that.”
Vodan sighed. He looked out over the horde encampment at the gentle golden glow from the drum fires and oil lamps.
“I will tell them that she is yours,” Vodan said simply, quietly.
Desires I’d long thought dead reawakened at his words, but I pushed them from my mind as best as I could.
Discipline. It was required of us all, I reminded myself. TheDothikkarhad ensured that in his selection of hisVorakkars.
“Return to your wife, Vodan,” I rasped, turning from him, my voice husky from my thoughts. “Enjoy her warmth and think no more of this tonight.”
“Then return to yours,Vorakkar,” mypujeraksaid, tilting his head towards myvoliki. His eyes were watchful and knowing as he added, “Because that is what she will become, is it not?”
* * *
When the hordewarriors returned with the river water, I returned to myvoliki,following them inside, watching as they filled the bathing tub.
After I dismissed them, the healer said, “Can you lift her in,Vorakkar? Her back cannot get wet or the sutures will fail. Keep her bent forward.”
The healer stripped thekallesof her pants, leaving her naked on my furs. I froze for a moment, looking at her backside, her legs, the jutting bones of her hips. I swallowed. She was much too thin. I hadn’t realized how much until just then.
And she was much too light, I thought, when I picked her up, careful of her back. She was shivering in my arms.
When I placed her in the icy water, she didn’t even wake and I maneuvered her body as the healer said, kneeling by the side of the bathing tub to keep her steady and in place.
Her back was red and inflamed from my lashes, little veins spearing out from the wounds.
“How long?” I asked the healer, not lifting my gaze from thekalles’face.
“Not long, but we will need to do this multiple times through the night.”
When her trembling vibrated the water around her, I took her out. A short while later, I put her back in, once we brought in more ice to cool the water.
It was a long night, but once morning broke, the exhausted healer told me that her fever was under control, that the worst of it was over.
“I will return,” the healer said, packing up her serums and vials, “in the evening. Or if she wakes before then, you can send for me,Vorakkar.”
“Kakkira vor, kerisa,” I said.
My gratitude made color rise in her cheeks, but I was already looking back down at thekallesand I didn’t notice when the healer slipped from the tent.
Lowering myself onto the furs next to her, I stretched out in my bed, knowing I needed to sleep, though dawn was just breaking. I hadn’t slept for three days and exhaustion was beginning to pull at the edges of my mind.
Now that I knew thekalleswould make it through another day, I let myself relax, if only slightly.
When I turned my head to look at her, I saw her closed eyelids twitch.
Her eyes opened a fraction and connected with mine. She didn’t react when she saw me close to her, as I guessed she might. She was a peculiar thing, unpredictable in nature, and that frustrated me.
Perhaps she didn’t realize she was awake, or perhaps she was still delirious from the fever. She looked at me,deep, and whispered, “Hello, demon.”
Her eyes closed before I could react.
“Sleep,thissie,” I said back after a quiet moment.
