A sharp exhale squeezed my lungs. I’d told him I hadn’t believed him when he said he loved me and I remembered, in crisp detail, the distraught expression on his face because of it.
Movement inside my belly made me gasp and my hand came up to rest there despite the layers of clothing I had on.
“Neffar?”
“I think the baby moved,” I whispered, tears filling my eyes. It was such a beautiful feeling, that fluttering inside me. And my first instinct was to want to share it with Seerin, despite everything we had gone through in the past month.
Thepujerakwas silent and I blinked back the tears, hoping he wouldn’t see my raw, surprised emotion. When I looked up at him, he was staring at me, his brow furrowed, his jaw clenched.
“He needs you,” the Dakkari male told me.
My lips parted at his words.
“Before he realized you had left the horde,” he continued, “he was not himself. He wasn’t sleeping, wasn’t eating. He was…spiritless.”
My chest pulled in agony at the Seerin he was describing. Because I couldn’t imagine him that way…although I’d seen a hint of it two nights ago. He’d seemeddefeated.
“You are not theMorakkarithat I would want for this horde. I have not made that a secret, even to you,” he murmured, reminding me of that night he’d approached me on the training grounds. “However, I realize that you are thekassikarihe wants and needs. If he were any other male, if he was not aVorakkar, he would have joined you to him long ago. I have no doubt in my mind about that.”
My throat tightened at his words. They meant a lot coming from him.
“As hispujerak, I thought I was doing the right thing, trying to steer him from you. But as his friend,” he said, his voice growing deeper, gruffer, “I feel ashamed of what I have done. As his friend, I knew that you were always going to be his choice.”
My hand shook when I pushed a strand of hair behind my ear. “I don’t like this side of you,” I informed him. “You’re almost beingnice.”
He didn’t hesitate as he replied, “Once I walk away, I will forget it ever happened,kalles.”
A sudden, wobbly smile appeared on my face and I looked away from his eyes, staring over thepyrokienclosure. A short distance away, themrikrofrowned at us both, but minded his own business, mucking out the nests.
“My mate is upset with me because I told her what I have done,” he admitted. “She thinks the honorable thing to do is give up my position aspujerak. She thinks the honorable thing to do is stand by my word and leave the horde.”
“Seerin wouldn’t want that,” I told him. “It would hurt him if you truly left. You know that.”
“I do not want to leave,” he said, his gaze sliding over to me. “And I realize that if I am to stay, then I must make amends with you first before he would ever consider forgiving me for my dishonorable actions.”
My lips twitched ever so slightly. “You want to use me to get back in Seerin’s good graces?
“Lysi,” he said, unashamed aboutthat. I appreciated his honesty. It made melikehim even.
“I’m alright with that,” I told him.
His shoulders loosened.
“Thank you for telling me,” I said after a brief moment of silence. “Even though the council’s matters are private, I appreciate it.”
“He disbanded the council two nights ago,” he told me softly. “It does not matter anymore.”
After my initial shock had passed, I asked, “Why would he do that?”
“Because,kalles,he can,” he rasped, turning towards me. “I have always known that he would be one of the greatVorakkarsof our race. He will be remembered long after his time. And now, it seems, he is finally realizing that himself. He does not need us.”
I shivered slightly, though it had nothing to do with the cold afternoon wind.
“And you will be at his side,” he added. “Will you not?”
I didn’t answer him as we stood there together, watching thepyrokis.
I did, however, feel the answer echo deep in my chest.
