“Neffar?”
Her lips pressed together and then she said, “Since we are not mated, since we keep two differentvolikis, we should discuss—”
“By the time the child comes,” I said, “I fully expect that you will be myMorakkari,rei thissie.”
Stunned silence spread between us.
“You…expect?” she repeated slowly, disbelief tinging her tone.
“Lysi.”
I missed many things about mythissie. I missed her curious questions, the way her eyes lit up as she talked about crafting arrows, how she always waited for me so we could eat our evening meal together even if I returned late, how her breath hitched ever so slightly whenever we kissed.
I missed our whispered conversations into the early hours of morning and seeing her eyes spark with heated desire when I slipped between her thighs.
I missed feeling the press of herthissiefeather necklace against my skin during the night, that soft feeling in my chest whenever I spied her around the encampment, seeing her secretive smile whenever she met my gaze from afar.
I even missed her temper. While she was not as quick to it as I was, it burned bright when lit.
She’d been so impassive towards me, the complete opposite of the starling who’d shyly admitted she liked when I kissed her and who’d informed me with a beguiling arrogance that she wouldn’t miss with her bow again before I’d given her my name.
But right then, she was not impassive. She was not indifferent. She wasangryand I felt relief whistle through me, clear and pure.
“You are unbelievable,” she hissed, her voice soft, standing from the edge of the bed. “You have no right to expect anything from me!”
“Besides my child, you mean,” I rasped, stoking those flames hotter because it felt so damn right.
Her lips parted, her eyes flashing. Then she clenched her jaw and grabbed her pelt from off the bed. She fastened it around her shoulders as she strode past me.
Catching her arm, I forced her to stop. “Nik, you will not retreat from this.”
“I’m not running away,” she countered, trying to pull her arm from my grip.
“Then what are you doing?” I growled. “All you have done is run from me!”
“With good reason,” she said with a growl all her own, frustration joining her anger when I would not let her go.
“Tell me,” I ordered, pulling her closer. “Tell me how much youhateme,rei thissie.” She stilled, her breaths coming heavy, shock flashing in her eyes. “Tell me how much you wish our paths had never crossed. Tell me how much I hurt you. Tell me how much of a monster I am, but at leasttell me something, Nelle!”
“Stop,” she breathed, her gaze locking with mine, surprise mingled with something else in her eyes.
“Tell me!”
“Seerin, I…” she trailed off.
I let her go and took a step away.
“I do not know what to do, Nelle,” I said softly. “I am sorry. I am so sorry for what I did. This past month has been the worst I can ever remember.”
Her lips parted. She heard the truth of it in my words. And she knew that I’d had many terrible months, especially inDothik.
I was tired. Mentally exhausted. I hadn’t been eating enough. This month had taken its toll on my body, on my mind. It had taken its toll on Nelle. And it was all my fault.
“Losing you, pushing you away,” I rasped, “was the biggest mistake of my life. And even though you are here now, you are still so very far away. I cannot reach you anymore,thissie.”
“Seerin,” she whispered, her brows furrowing.
“What do you want?” I rasped. “Do you want me to…do you want me to leave you be? Do you truly want this to be over between us?”
