Dread and panic made thevolikisway. “Nik. When?Where did she go?”
“Two weeks ago. She left at dawn with a warrior. The seamstress was—”
I was already striding through the entrance of thevoliki, my heart pounding in my throat, before running towards the back of the encampment, towards Nelle’svoliki.
Nik, nik, nik, I thought. Vodan was mistaken. He had to be.
When I reached hervoliki, I pushed inside, praying to Kakkari that she within.
But the moment the cold touched my skin, the moment my eyes adjusted to the darkness inside, I knew Vodan spoke the truth. There was no fire, no warmth, no light.
She was gone. She’d left.
On her bed, something glinted in the blue, stale light and I snatched it up. Turning it over in my palm, I saw it was the necklace I’d given her from thedeviri. It was icy cold. The sight of it gutted me because I knew what it meant. She’d thought it a gift of pity and had left it, left me, behind. And mythissie’spride burned bright when she was wronged, rightfully so.
Vodan said a warrior had taken her. Odrii, I knew. I’d seen him a few days ago, however, so he must’ve guided her back to her village and then returned himself. Just now, I remembered the darkened looks he’d speared my way, but I’d been so mentally detached that I hadn’t given them a second thought.
Worry and fear washed over me, but I was already pushing out of thevoliki, making my way towards thepyrokienclosure. Vodan had followed and caught up with me just as I reached it.
“What are you doing, Seerin?” Vodan hissed under his breath. It was dark, the encampment quiet. “You cannot leave.”
I clenched my fist around the necklace. All I could think was that mythissiehad willingly returned to her village, where she’d been half-starved for most of her life and almost raped. A place where no one had claimed her, protected her,lovedher, as she deserved.
The thought that she would rather return there than stay in the horde was cutting enough.
And why would she stay? I thought bitterly.I told her I would have to take another as myMorakkari, that she would have to accept that.
If our positions were reversed, would I be able to stand aside and watch as she took another? Would I be able to withstand knowing that she took him into her arms, into her bed?
Nik, it would’ve killed me.
I growled, pushing past Vodan, jumping over the fence enclosure.
I’d been callous and cold to suggest such a thing to her. Like the monster I’d always known I was. The same monster that had ordered her whipping, that had pushed her away when she’d only ever wanted to be mine, that had knowingly hurt her with my words. She deserved better than me. Much better.
“Lokkas,” I called, heading towards my beast’s nest. I didn’t care if it was the dead of night. I needed to go to her. It had been two weeks already. What if something had happened to her? What if she’d been hurt—what if her village had turned her away? “Lokkas!”
Her village was a two-day ride away. I could make the journey even quicker if I didn’t stop.
“Seerin,” Vodan said, following me into the enclosure. Lokkas emerged from his nest. “You are not thinking clearly.”
“I am,” I growled, jumping up on Lokkas’ back. “For the first time in two weeks, Iamthinking clearly.”
Vok, all the wasted time!
Fool, fool, fool!
“You already made your decision,” Vodan argued, holding Lokkas in place when I tried to steer him from the enclosure. “Do not make this mistake.”
“It was a mistake to let her go,” I told him. “It was a mistake to allow the council to steer my decisions asVorakkar. Now stand away,pujerak.”
“Seerin—”
“I will bring her back,” I promised, staring down at him. We had known one another so long that he heard the fierce determination in my words. “Inform the council. Leave the horde if you must. Lead the others who do not wish to stay back toDothik.” His lips parted in disbelief. “From now on, I make my own decisions. Sheiswhat is best for the horde. I only regret it has taken me this long to realize that.”
Without waiting, I pulled Lokkas away before kicking him up into a sprint.
A horde was only as strong as itsVorakkar. And aVorakkarwas only as strong as hisMorakkari.
