I nodded, swallowing the thick lump in my throat. Avuli reached out and patted a heavy-looking sack attached to the seat of Odrii’spyroki.
“Driedkinnuandkuveri,” she explained. “I went to thebikku’svolikilast night and took as much as I could fit. It should last you through the cold season.”
My throat tightened at her foresight. “Thank you.”
“I packed an extra fur,” she said. “And a blade. Just in case.”
I nodded, thinking of the dagger Seerin had given me, which was in hisvolikinext to Arlah’s rock. Back in my village, I’d always slept with an arrow close by, especially after Kier’s attack.
Odrii made a sound on hispyroki, a growl. He didn’t like this. He couldn’t understand why I needed to do this, but Avuli seemed to understand.
“Nelle,” he said softly. “Please reconsider.Stay. This is madness.”
Hispyrokistomped its claws into the earth, as if agreeing with his master’s words.
Pressing my lips together, I reached out to squeeze Avuli’s hand.
“Thank you,” I whispered, pressing a kiss to her cheek. “For everything.”
She gave me a watery smile, her eyes shimmering in the low light of the morning. “Lik Kakkari srimea tei kirtja.”
May Kakkari watch over you.
I reached my hand up towards Odrii and he sighed, his shoulders sagging, taking it as my final answer, my final decision. He pulled me up easily, settling me in front of him, his thighs encasing my own.
Out of the corner of my eye, I sensed movement between twovolikis. When I turned my head to look, praying to Kakkari that it wasn’t Seerin, I saw hispujerakinstead. I’d barely seen him since that night, over a month ago, when he’d confronted me in the training grounds. Now, the Dakkari male stood, watching us with narrowed eyes and a frown.
When his gaze turned to me, I looked at him for one brief moment.
You got what you wanted, I thought quietly.I’m leaving.
His lips pressed together in answer, but instead of smug victory on his face, there was only…relief.
I looked away, giving him no more of my time or my thoughts, looking down at Avuli one last time before setting my gaze out towards the plains that I saw beyond the gate of the encampment. I didn’t look back as Odrii’spyrokiled us away. I didn’t look back at the training grounds where I’d spent many nights with my bow, or mymitri’sweapons tent, where I’d finally perfected my arrows, or the maze ofvolikisthat I could navigate in my sleep. And I most certainly didn’t look up the small incline at the back of the camp at thevolikiwhere I’d spent some of the happiest moments of my life.
I would never see him again.
I would never see him again.
The sudden realization almost broke me completely. It wasthatcrushing.
“Ready?” Odrii asked me. We were just outside the gates now, a blanket of snow and ice in front of us, stretching as far as I could see over the plains of Dakkar.
Never. I would never be ready.
“Yes,” I said, as tears drenched my cheeks. “I am.”
Chapter Thirty-Seven
“Vorakkar.”
I blinked and focused my attention on my head warrior. When I looked at him, I couldn’t help but notice that the rest of the elders’ eyes and Vodan’s eyes were on me as well. I wondered how long he’d been trying to get my attention.
“Neffar?” I rasped.
“TheHitripass,” the warrior said slowly. “The northern pass, specifically.”
“What about it?” I asked, straightening.
