She leveled him a look of annoyance, but he hid his grin when she didn’t refute ‘mate.’ He considered it progress.
She seemed to settle an internal debate and pointed out, “I won’t even know if you’re lying, you know.”
Cruxan lifted a shoulder. “I will not.”
She shook her head, a low sigh escaping her lips. Then she asked, “Have you…have you ever killed anyone?”
“Of course,” he replied, frowning, surprised that was her first question.
“Who?”
She really didn’t know much about Luxirians, he thought.
“Many,” he said, wondering if that would disgust her. “Many species, but mostly Jetutians.”
“The ones that set the Plague onto Luxiria?” she asked softly.
“Tev,” he replied, inclining his head. “Luxirians are known across the Quadrants because…we are simply the most efficient killers.”
“Because of your training,” she finished.
“Does this concern you?” he couldn’t help but ask. “I do not even know how many I have killed. I cannot even give you a number.”
Her gaze met his and she said, “I don’t know.” Her own truth. “I realize that it’s different here. Very different from Earth.”
She went quiet, thinking something over.
Then her next question came, “Do you like it? Do you like killing?”
Cruxan stiffened.
“When we went to war with the Jetutians ten rotations ago, I would have told youtev,” he said, holding her gaze. “But that was because I was young. I naively thought every kill brought me closer to justice, not only for my family, but for all of Luxiria.”
“And now?”
He blew out a breath, running a hand over his sensitive horn. “Now, I think every Jetutian I killed made me lose something of myself.”
Her breath hitched in surprise.
“When youlikekilling,luxiva, that is when you are in danger of losing your soul,” he said. “Luxirians, we kill for a purpose, not because we like it, but because sometimes violence is necessary for peace, as fragile as that peace may be. In an ideal universe, violence would not be needed. But we never live in ideals. There is always an ugliness.”
His female bit her lip. Relief went through him when her expression wasn’t one of disgust, but…hesitant understanding.
A part of him wondered why that had been her first line of questioning…concerning violence.
“Your next question,luxiva,” he prompted when she fell silent.
“Did you even want a mate?” she asked after a long while.
“Every Luxirian wants a mate,” he answered.
“That’s not what I asked.”
Cruxan huffed out a small breath, admiration for his little female lighting up his chest. Despite her quiet, almost timid nature, she was no nonsense.
“Tev,” he answered. “However…”
He wasn’t sure how to explain himself.
