He closed his eyes and tears pricked my vision. The things he must’ve thought…
“Arokan,” I whispered, stroking his cheek. “My body will heal. The healer said the baby is safe.I’mhere with you. That’s all that matters.”
“The burn will remain,” he said, his voice hardening. “The memory will.”
I went silent. I knew it would. I would forever remember the feel of a dagger sinking into Ghertun flesh, of a shocked expression, of the realization that I’d killed him.
But I would do it all over again if I had to.
“I failed you,” he said.
I gasped. “What?”
“I did not protect you,” he said, looking at me, that emotion that I’d seen when he’d entered the clearing in the forest, right at the surface. “The dark things I thought when I realized you had been taken, when we could not find you as the hours went by…vok, Luna, it was the worst moment of my life and I have experienced many of those. I failed you. When I swore to protect you, when I swore you would be safe. I am sorry,kassikari. Please forgive me.”
Hearing him apologize was almost as wrong as his words.
“Arokan,” I said, taking his face again. “Listen to me. You didnotfail me. Don’teverthink that again.”
He shook his head.
“Stop it,” I whispered, my throat clogging. This was why he’d been quiet, I realized. Because he believed he’d been responsible for what I suffered. “Arokan, you did save me.”
He closed his eyes. “I found you because I heard you scream.”
“No, that’s not what I meant,” I said. When he looked at me, I said, “I meant that you gave me the strength and the knowledge and the training in order for me to survive. Without that, I don’t think I would’ve.”
He dropped his head to my shoulder, letting out a rough breath.
“I tried to stay calm,” I told him softly. “I watched them. I came up with a plan. You remember that night in the forest? When I drew the blade on you?”
He nodded.
“I remembered that night too. I did the same thing. I got one alone and close. I managed to get his dagger and I did what I had to do. I cut him where you taught me to,” I said, “to protect myself and our baby. Then I ran. I hid and then I heard the horde coming. The leader…he must’ve seen me. He was desperate by then, but you came before he could act on it.”
Arokan looked at me and I watched him process my words.
“I know that you think you failed me, but you didn’t,” I whispered, leaning forward to give him a small kiss. He breathed me in, his fingers delving into my hair. “You didn’t. It breaks my heart knowing you think that.”
“I want…Ineedto kill them again,kalles,” he rasped. “For hurting you.”
I stroked his hair, felt his tail wrap around my thigh. I knew that feeling wouldn’t go away for a long time.
However, his words made me remember something.
“Arokan, there’s something else,” I whispered.
“Neffar?”
“The leader,” I started, looking at him. “He said the Ghertun have a king. Did you know that?”
Arokan’s lips pressed together. “We heard reports,lysi.”
“They were going to take me to him,” I told him, eliciting a growl from my husband. “Apparently the scout that we found at the old camp…that was one of his sons. He wanted revenge. That’s why he took me because he knew it would hurtyou. The leader said…he said that the king is planning to take all of Dakkar, that he has anarmybig enough to succeed.”
“It is a concern,lysi,” Arokan rasped, “but the Ghertun do not know how many Dakkari warriors we have. I can assure you,kalles, that any army he has is no match for us.”
I relaxed, nodding. After a moment, I whispered, “Iwasfrightened, Arokan. I won’t deny that.” He tensed beside me. “But only because I feared for the baby. I feared that they would take me away before I ever saw you again.”
