She walked quickly to the door and slipped outside before Vixron could protest. Outside, she drew in lungfuls of cold air and immediately looked down the terrace, to where Kirov’s house was.
Disappointment threaded through her again when she saw his hovercraft was gone. Vixron hadn’t been lying when he’d said Kirov was at the command center.
Slowly, she wandered to the balcony, glancing next to her at the place Kirov had stood at when they’d talked, when she’d hurt him.
He was leaving. This afternoon.
Had he even planned on telling her? Had he planned on saying goodbye?
Something in her broke at that thought and more goddamn tears rolled down her cheeks before she dashed them away with her wrist.
Lainey let herself cry for a bit. Nadine had always said that it was good to cry, that it was quote unquotejust as much of a release as an orgasm was.
She almost laughed, her sadness for the loss of her friend mingling with her guilt, with her cracking heart, and she cried.
It took a while for them to taper off. But when they did, Lainey knew Nadine had been right. She felt better, calmer.
“I can’t keep doing this,” she whispered to herself.
She couldn’t keep hurting people she cared about just because she was scared.
It was no secret that relationships were difficult for her. Her father had been absent most of her life, preferring to run his business over spending time with his family. Her mother had loved her on the condition that she performed well and only seemed to truly show her affection after the end of a concert, when other people were looking.
Her ex-boyfriends had been disasters, but looking back on it, Lainey knew she’d picked them for a reason…because she was certain those relationships would end, that she’d never risk her heart with them.
And Nadine. Nadine, who had been a sister to her, a best friend, a confidant. Her beautiful life and soul had been stolen by a lump in her breast, her body turning against her. Her death had left Lainey…empty. Detached.
After Nadine, she hadn’t opened herself up to anyone. She never put herself in a position to feel vulnerable.
Then her abduction happened, the Luxirians rescuing them shortly afterwards.
Then Kirov crashed into her life, unexpected butreal.
And ever since, she’d been reeling.
Ever since, she’d been jerking him around, her emotions swinging wildly from one moment to the next but he’d kept up with her, he’d challenged her.
The moment she realized she might not want to say goodbye was the moment when he left her behind. The irony was not lost on her.
She couldn’t keep doing this.
Lainey needed to decide what she wanted and she needed to commit. And the two options were this: stay away from Kirov no matter how painful it would be until the Luxirians sent them back to Earth…or beg him for another chance and really give this thing between them another shot.
One option meant she could still go home to Earth with her heart—mostly—intact.
The other meant she had to be vulnerable, she had to open up and let him see all the ugly places inside her, and she would probably do the thing she feared most: fall in love.
Lainey stood at the balcony until the sky slowly began to turn a blush pink. She watched, in awe, as the twin suns began their ascent, casting beautiful, unearthly colors over the landscape, colors she didn’t even think possible.
A new day, she thought.
Clarity came with the sunrise.
She knew what she wanted to do.
* * *
Kirov wasin a foul mood and he stood, alone, in the technology wing of the command center, hunched over a table that held the armor he was creating.
