Her flushed cheeks told him that it had taken her a lot of courage to admit that, but Khiva felt the words climb inside his body and turn his emotions to tatters.
“Was it not obvious,” he asked slowly, trying to conceal those emotions, “how much I desired you, Evelyn? How much I enjoyed our time together?”
“This is all new for me, Khiva,” she reminded him softly. “I know…I know you must have a lot of other clients.”
Khiva saw the way her face tightened as she said the words. With a rasp, he said, “You know I do. We all do.”
She inhaled through her nose, nodding slowly. Then she admitted, “There was a part of me, the pessimistic, cynical part of me, that thought you might’ve just been acting during our time together, that you’re good at playing a role, a different role for every client, and you played the one you thought I would like most. I’ve thought about that a lot these past few weeks and the uncertainty was driving me mad.”
Those words tore at him, but he couldn’t fault her for her honesty. Because what she’d said was partly true…hewasused to playing a variety of roles, each carefully constructed for every client. It was why he liked to know whom he was meeting with for the night, to give himself time to become that role. It kept a steady stream of steady clients because Khiva could please them better.
But Khiva hated that Evelyn thought he’d done the same for her, like he grouped her in with the rest of them, just another face among many.
He reached out to cup the sides of her face, to ensure that she was looking at him, as he slowly and deliberately said, “I can say with complete honesty that I never played a role with you, not in the way you think. I was myself. I did not have to think with you. It felt natural, it felt right. I did what I wanted, I touched you when I wanted, and I said whatever I wanted to say.”
Khiva felt her relax, if only slightly, but he wanted to reassure her even more.
“I have thought of you often, Evelyn,” he told her, his voice lowering slightly. “Selfishly, I wished you would return. I wanted to see you again.”
“Khiva…” she whispered.
“Do you feel it,leeldra?” he couldn’t help but ask next, brushing his fingers through her soft hair, feeling those deep brown eyes on him like a touch.
“Feel what?”
“This strand between us. My people called itnuvur’u drava. Though there is no direct translation in your language, it means something likelinking.”
Her lips parted, but Khiva thought he saw realization there.
“I feel it when I look at you, when I think of you,” he confessed, “when I touch you. We have not known each other long,leeldra, but I feel it with you. As certain as a physical touch. Do you?”
Evelyn studied him for a long time, so long that Khiva wondered if he’d made a mistake telling her.
But then she said softly, “I used my inheritance credits to see you, Khiva, not for the reasons other women come to you, but because I felt like I was making a mistake bynotreturning. I knew I would regret it, for the rest of my life, if I didn’t see you again. At first, I wasn’t sure if what I was feeling was all in my head. I had doubts because I never wanted to read into something that wasn’t there to begin with.”
He was about to interrupt, to say that therewassomething there, that she shouldn’t doubt that.
But she finished before he could with, “I came back because you are worth it. You are worth the risk and worth making a fool of myself for. I had to be sure.”
“Evelyn,” he growled.
“So yes, Khiva. Even though it doesn’t make sense, even though I have no idea what we’re doing…I feel it,” she whispered. “I feel it too.”
Chapter Nineteen
The night passed like a dream, soft and slow and lovely.
And Eve mourned every minute that passed because it meant one more minute towards the inevitability of her leaving, towards not seeing him again until his next available booking, knowing he’d be with a different human woman every single night in between.
Eve tried not to think about it, just as she always did.
It was damn hard not to and it was becoming even harder.
They were sitting at the small table near the window a couple hours after Eve had arrived. She was eating dinner, since once again, she’d been too full of nerves and anticipation that she’d hardly eaten anything all day. In fact, she hadn’t had much of an appetite since she’d last seen Khiva, evidenced by the way her dress fit more loosely than it had before.
While they were both sitting in separate chairs, they might as well not have. Khiva was so close that the side of his thigh was pressed to hers, his heat seeping into her. One arm was slung over the back of the chair and while it couldn’t be comfortable on the narrow ridge, he never moved it. In fact, his fingers trailed over her bare shoulder, brushing through her hair every so often as they talked.
It was distracting. When Eve had decided that she wouldn’t visit him for sex anymore, she hadn’t realized howtemptedshe’d be. Because somehow, in the past few weeks, she’d forgotten how potent her attraction was to him. Everything about him…from his smell, to his finely sculpted body, to his voice, to his gaze. It made her dizzy with need and her utensil trembled with every bite she took of her mouth-watering dinner.
