“I—I don’t know if I can believe that,” she admitted, her hands coming up to squeeze her temples, looking away from him.“I already believed you before and now I just don’t know.”
Vikan went to his mate,needingher to understand that he went to Nitav with pure intentions.It was ironic to him that when he finally said his final goodbyes to Nitav, it was when her memory threatened his future with Taylor.
“Please,luxiva,” he murmured, pulling her hands away from her head so that he could see her clearly.
Her face was lined with the moisture leaking from her eyes and she said, “Please don’t call me that.Not right now.”
“I willalwayscall you that,” he rasped, shaking his head.
“Vikan,” she whispered, trying to push him away, her expression as defeated as he’d ever seen it.More dread pooled into his stomach.They were so close toLopixanow, so close to her potentially leaving him to return to the Golden City.“Please stop.I just need to think.And I’m so sick of thinking all the time.”
Vikan tried to calm himself, but it was difficult with the level of panic he felt.But he’d learned much about his mate during their journey and he knew that Taylor meant what she said.She needed time.
They just didn’t have much of it left.
But he would need to trust her.He would give her some time in her own mind, but they would need to discuss this in detail soon.And if they reachedLopixabefore that time, then Vikan would follow her back to the Golden City until shedidagree to talk to him.He would never give up on her.If he had to follow her all the way to Earth, he would, without hesitation.
So, even though it was the most difficult thing he’d ever had to do, he said, “I will give you time,luxiva.”Her breath hitched at the word, but she didn’t say anything about it.“I will go retrieve our coverings from the shore and then we can leave.”
Taylor kept her eyes firmly on the cave floor and Vikan rose to a stand, his chest feeling heavy.
He walked to the entrance of the cave, saw the suns were making their ascent, heralding their last span of this journey.It wouldn’t take them long to reachLopixafrom there.
Softly, he couldn’t help but say, “Regardless of how long we have known each other, female,I know that you see me.I know that you know me to my core.Trust in that if nothing else,tev?”
He heard her make a small sound in the back of her throat in response.Then he left to retrieve their coverings so they could begin their final journey.
TWENTY
THEY TRAVELED MOST of the day in silence.
Except for a few quiet ‘thank yous’ whenever Vikan helped her over a rock or a small inlet, Taylor hardly said a word, too consumed by her own thoughts and what had happened earlier that morning.Every so often, Vikan would ask her quietly, “Can we discuss this yet,luxiva?” to which she would shake her head and then they would lapse back into silence.
Taylor was retreating into herself.And she hated it.She’d done this when her grandmother had passed away.She had hardly spoken, she’d just continued on with her life, but she had felt…off.Not quite numb, but just…blank.
She didn’t want to do this, however.Not to Vikan.
But damn, had ithurtwhen she heard him saying Nitav’s name.Ithurtwhen she realized, with dawning dread, that he’d willingly wanted to dream about his ex-mate.
It made her doubt everything he’d told her, that he was moving on, that he wanted to build a life with her.
It made her question whether Vikan wanted Taylor simply because she was his fated mate—a chemical reaction, really, infused with lust but not love—or if it was because he truly saw a future with her, because he actually had genuine, strong feelings for her.
He hadn’t voiced that he had feelings for her yet.
On the other hand, neither had she.
Plain and simple, it was just shitty timing.Just when she’d finally made the decision to stay with him, right when she was excited to tell him, that morning had been like a bucket of ice cold water dumped over her head.After that amazing night, after that amazing vision…it had felt like a slap in the face.
Taylor inhaled a long breath, looking up at the sky to track the suns.It had seemed like hours since they’d left that cave behind and she wasn’t any closer to figuring out what was going on in her head.
Vikan told her he’d sought out Nitav to say goodbye.For good.
Desperately, Taylor wanted to believe that.But how was it possible?Was he actually able to visit her?Before meeting him, Taylor definitely wouldn’t have believed in any of this.But when she’d seen the visions herself, when she heard what Vikan had told her about trying to change that little girl’s fate, when she felt the blood bond and their intense connection to each other, Taylor knew it was all true.And if that was all true, then it was certainly possible that he could contact Nitav.
How long had be been seeing her, visiting her?
Her heart clenched, beyond jealousy at that point.It just…hurt.Everything hurt.
