His expression was thunderous, but she wasn’t frightened.For some reason, her body and mind knew something she wasn’t aware of yet.
“That feeling ofknowingyou have,” he started, his voice quiet yet clear, “that feeling of connection between us, willnevergo away, no matter the distance.This concerns you, very much.Think that you can return to your life unscathed.But know that it is a lie you tell yourself.”
She made a sharp inhale through her nostrils.
But he wasn’t done.
“Just as it is a lie I tell myself that I will be able to let you go if I must,” he finished, his features grim and somber.His eyes glinted silver in the moonlight.As if it were an after thought, he added gruffly, “I like to think I am an honorable male.Even I am notthathonorable.”
SEVEN
HE’D ALREADY RUINED everything, Vikan thought just as he spied a series of caves he’d suspected would be around this region of the western lands.
They’d been walking in silence for what felt like spans.After Vikan had told Taylor the truth, that the beginning of their matehood affected her too, regardless of what she thought, she’d gone quiet and turned her head away to look in front of them.If she wasn’t so tense in his arms, Vikan might’ve thought she slept.
A moment later, his booted feet touched sand so soft that he sunk down to his calves.He knew it would be soft enough for his female to walk on, but he had no intentions of setting her down, despite her anger at him.
Everything had already gone so wrong that Vikan wondered if she’d ever forgive him.First he’d stolen her in the middle of the night, then the loss of fuel and the forced landing, and then having to journey toLopixaon foot.Instead of warm furs that night, he’d be giving her a rocky, cold cave.
And then he’d told her he wasn’t pleased that his Instinct woke for her.The words had come out wrong, but how could Vikan deny the base root of his meaning?
He’d been content to live out the rest of his life span in numbness.He’d accepted it.
Yet, she came in a flash he hadn’t expected and warped everything he thought he knew.
Because of her, he was being disloyal to Nitav.Because of her, he could hardly think straight and his moods were mercurial.Because of her, his body and mind felt like a stranger’s.
And because of her…he feltsomethingfor the first time in a long time.
Maybe he should have told herthatinstead of what had slipped out of his mouth.
But Vikan had never been a master of beautiful words or the owner of a charming tongue, as some of his warrior brothers possessed.He’d always been blunt and quiet, to the point that others thought he was cold and unfeeling.When in reality, Vikan was the opposite.He felttoomuch.His gift of foresight had only complicated that.The only way Vikan knew how to cope was to desperately try and detach his emotions from situations because if he didn’t…the intensity of them could drown him sometimes.
Just as they had with Nitav.
With Nitav, he had opened himself to her, had made himself vulnerable to what they’d built together.
In the end?The loss had nearly killed him.
And Vikan feared that if he let himself grow too attached to the human female in his arms—which he already feared was happening—then she would have the ability to cut him even deeper if she left him willingly.He feared it would hurt him more than Nitav’s death.
Even then he knew, if Taylor left him, if his fated mate left him…he wouldn’t be able to survive it.Not again.Not when his Instinct was involved and rooting to her, deeply.
He didn’t realize that he was clutching her tighter until she touched his forearm.That contact jolted him, sizzling through his bones, and when he looked down, he saw her watching him closely.
He swallowed the rock lodged in his throat and rasped, “There are caves up ahead.”Then, with reluctance, he set her down onto the silky sand, holding her waist until she righted herself.She sank in until he could no longer see her small, pale feet.
Except for a quiet, “Okay,” she didn’t say anything else and let him guide her to his cave of choice.During the cold season, the caves were used bykikixa, loud, large flying beasts of prey that liked to nest there.
During that time of the rotation, he hoped they would be empty.
However, when they reached them, he motioned for Taylor to stay at the entrance and then he ducked inside the largest cave, listening intently for the little whistles ofkikixafeathers.He only heard silence and approached further, his eyes adjusting to the blackened darkness quickly.
The cave was small, but was large enough that there would be room for both of them, but none for a fire.Just to be safe, he checked the other cave closest to the large one, but there were no signs ofkikixaand Vikan knew it would be safe for the remainder of the night.
When he returned to Taylor, she had her arms wrapped around her body, which was only clothed in a thin tunic that reached the middle of her thighs.Again, Vikan cursed himself and his haphazard plan and hurried to her, feeling shame that his female was cold and he wasn’t warming her.
“Come,” he murmured and when she looked up at him, something lit in her eyes.But it was gone a moment later and she nodded, allowing him to lead her to the cave entrance.
