Much more.
He made her feel strong again.He made her feel like she could be the woman she’d always wanted and needed to be.
And the thought that she might be leaving this planet, leaving Rixavox behind, never to see him again…it made her feel sick.
Now that their time was dwindling to the end, she was thinking more and more about how she would even be able to say goodbye.And she realized that she couldn’t imagine it.It hurt too much.
Levrix was quiet, studying her from across the fire pit.When she’d first arrived, as promised, she’d read a section from the book Cecelia had found the day before and translated it into English as best as she could.Beyond that, that was the most Cecelia had heard her speak that day.
“You are different,” Levrix commented.“Even from last span.I see it.”
Cecelia fought against the flush that colored her cheekbones.She’d been pale that morning when she’d looked at herself in the wall reflection in the bathroom.Perhaps a little color would do her good.
“Ah,” Levrix said, leaning back slightly, before looking down into her lap.“You have mated.”
“No,” Cecelia said.“No, we haven’t.But…”
She cleared her throat, taking another sip of tea.
“Rixavox is a charming male.Handsome and strong.I did not doubt that he would court you.Many Luxirian females have vied for his attentions throughout the rotations.”
Her words were flippant but Cecelia didn’t like the way they settled in her stomach.A sliver of anger and jealous burned through her, but Cecelia knew that Levrix had meant nothing by it.Right?If she’d learned one thing about the female…it was that sometimes she could be blunt.
That was why, after she took a deep breath, she said, “We haven’t mated, Levrix.I know this might be a little uncomfortable for you, since you two used to be…” What had Rixavox called it?“Um, pleasure partners, but I do care for him.A lot.”
“There is a rumor that thelavrix’an,” Levrix started saying, “the human female that our Prime Leader mated did not want to conceive, that she asked a healer for a…a contraceptive.Is this true?”
Cecelia furrowed her brow, confused by Levrix’s question and wondering why she wanted to know.Besides a small, hardly noticeable clenching of her fists, the Luxirian female hardly seemed fazed by their conversation.
“I have no idea,” Cecelia answered truthfully.“I’ve only met Kate a couple times and it was obvious to me that even if she did want birth control, it didn’t work.Her pregnancy was in the third trimester already from the looks of things.”
Levrix’s face twisted slightly and Cecelia wondered what that emotion meant.Disgust?Anger?Confusion?
“It is hard for me to understand,” Levrix finally said slowly, her voice strained, “why a female would wishnotto bear young.”
Cecelia straightened slightly, sensing that this was a delicate topic.“I’m sure she had her reasons, if the rumors are true,” she said.
“And yet she will bear our Prime Leader’s heir, an heir that will lead us into a new world.A hybrid,” Levrix said softly, her gaze flashing up to Cecelia.
Cecelia swallowed, the sudden tension making her fidget among the cushions.It didn’t help that she felt she might vomit as well.
“Rixavox told me about the Plague,” Cecelia said softly.“I can’t imagine what that must’ve been like, losing so many of your females in such a short amount of time.”
Levrix’s mouth twisted again slightly.“You will never know what it was like.And us that remain behind…we may as well journey to the blackworld too.”
“That’s not true,” Cecelia said, frowning slightly.“Don’t say that.”
“And now, females of different races will be the ones that continue Luxiria’s long and prosperous line, not Luxirian females.We have no use.”
Cecelia’s lips parted, struck by the sudden change in Levrix.Rage.It was there on her face.Helplessness.And a supreme sadness that made her throat burn just seeing it.
“I’m sorry,” Cecelia said, because she didn’t know what else to say.“I’m sorry that you had to go through what you did.I’m sorry for what you still deal with, every day.”
“I wanted to be a mother,” Levrix said, meeting her eyes.The glacial blue color seemed even darker with her sadness.“I wanted to bear young and see them grow and become proud warriors that would defend our race.I will never see that now.”
“Levrix, I understand,” Cecelia said softly, wondering how to try to calm her down.Her emotion seemed pent-up and for some reason, it was bubbling over now.
“No, you do not understand.You couldneverunderstand,” Levrix bit out, her voice hardening.
