She murmured softly, “I know you would.”
He shifted her weight in the water and settled her back against him.“What was your profession on Earth?” he asked.
“I was still in school actually, working towards a nursing degree.I was going to finish in a couple months,” she said in a wistful tone.She must’ve seen the confused look on his face because she ran her fingertips over his furrowed brow and explained, “I want to be a nurse.A…healer.I started looking into nursing programs when I was doing my chemotherapy.I needed something to strive towards, regardless of if the treatments worked or not.And I’d encountered a lot of nurses over the years and they all helped me in some way.They were amazing.I wanted to do the same thing for other people.”
“You are…” he trailed off, the words deserting him.He shook his head.“You humble me, Sessela.”
Her eyes softened and she leaned up to kiss him.Rixavox didn’t know how he’d gone a single moment of his life span without kissing her, for it was as addictive as it was comforting, as it was sensual.
“Can I ask you something?” she murmured when she pulled back.
“Tev, of course.”
Her breasts slid against his chest as she shifted and she bit her lip before saying, “You said before that you’ve never bonded with anyone, that you’ve never wanted a mate, willingly or fated, that you didn’t see that life for yourself.Why?”
Out of all the questions she could have asked, he’d expected that one the least.
Slowly, he said, “I never said I did not want a mate.”
“Right,” she replied.“Sorry.”
“All Luxirians wish for a mate,” he told her.“Most, especially now, do not find them.”
“So you think you’ll never find yours?” she asked, her voice strangely subdued and quiet.“Is that why you never saw that life for yourself?Because you think it won’t happen?”
Keeping the truth from her was becoming more difficult by the span, he realized.She did not realize that hehadfound his fated mate.Inher.Sessela was the only female for him, from then on until the span he entered the blackworld, whether she was by his side or not, whether she returned to Earth or not.
The words were in his throat, but he found he could not voice them.He’d never thought of himself as a coward, but the thought of hisluxivaturning from him if she knew the truth…it was the most frightening thing in his world.
“It is part of it,tev,” he said carefully, hating this dishonesty between them.“I have learned to live with what the Fates have given me.To want something that desperately, only to leave this world without it…you would always want more than what you have, you would never be satisfied.I choose not to live my life wishing for something that might not happen.”
“You’re a realist,” she observed.Her eyes looked sad though and it maddened him.
“What is a realist?”
“It’s someone who…someone who accepts something for what it is and deals with it however they’re able to.”
“Thentev, I am a realist,” he murmured.“What are you?”
That question brought a small smile to her face.“I am…maybe part realist and part idealist.Do you think I can be both?”
“Tell me why first,” he said.
“Because I was dreaming of being a nurse, even when my body was being pumped with chemicals, even when I knew there was a chance I would never be able to do a nursing program.Because I think that wishing for someone whose like your second half isn’t a bad thing, even if I might never find them.It would give me something to look forward to.And I think being even a little bit of a dreamer makes life a bit more interesting.”
Rixavox huffed out a laugh, his heart thrumming in his chest as he looked down at her.He felt full, he realized.Completely and utterly full.He had since he’d first seen her.
“Tev,luxiva,” he rumbled, pressing a kiss to her lips.“I think you can be both.Youareboth.”
They kissed each other, feeling the comforting strength of theRillirax, and Rixavox knew that he would never be able to give her up.He wondered if she would feel the same about him, especially considering they didn’t have much time left.He was meant to return her to the Golden City in a few spans to finish her treatment.
Sessela flinched, sucking in a sharp breath, and Rixavox pulled away, startled, afraid he’d hurt her.
“Luxiva?” he asked, brows furrowing when he saw her features drawn.He cupped her cheeks.“What is wrong?”
She shook her head.Slowly, her muscles relaxed again, but there was still a slight discomfort on her face.
“Nothing,” she murmured, her gaze returning to him.“I just…maybe it’s theRillirax.It’s supposed to draw toxins out, right?Maybe it’s a little painful as it does, like pain means it’s working.”
