A ribbon of fear unfurled slowly inside Hannah’s heart. Her face grew warm, and she looked down at the hands in her lap.
Maybe he wasn’t here because he’d changed his mind.
Chapter Five
Rafepausedattheboardinghouse door just long enough to swipe the perspiration from his brow and to adjust the sleeves of the nicest jacket he owned. He’d run home to bathe and change clothing, only to discover the only suit he had was in a shabbier state than he’d remembered. It wasn’t as if he’d had occasion to wear the thing in years. Miss White would simply have to accept him as he was, he’d told himself.
But those words hadn’t flushed away the doubts swirling in his mind.
Then there was the hour. He was late—verylate. He’d pulled himself together quickly enough, but he hadn’t counted on Mrs. Huron pulling him aside as he passed her shop to tell him about the rumors she’d heard of a band of outlaws tearing their way through every town this side of the Sangre de Cristos, or on assisting Aaron Fetter in removing a belligerent miner from the premises of his saloon, or on needing to turn around and fetch Hawk to handle a horse-thieving situation at the livery.
By the time Rafe arrived at the boardinghouse, he felt he needed another bath and thirty minutes to compose himself. But he had time for neither. Because Miss White was waiting inside—for him.
He swallowed the fear that rose in the back of his throat when he pushed the door open. For the hundredth time, he wished he’d saidsomething to her earlier. She had to be wondering why he hadn’t. If she wasn’t furious at him for arriving so late, that was.
After shutting the door silently behind him, Rafe stood inside for a moment. His heart slammed against his chest and nerves prickled the ends of his fingers.
Why was he doing this again? He had no real desire to be married, no yearning need for children or the responsibility of keeping a family safe and fed.
But there was no turning back now. Cabot would fetch the undertaker to take Rafe’s place, and just the thought of that drawn, pallid man taking the hand of the pretty Miss White made Rafe’s stomach turn. Besides, she had to know by now that he’d received her letter. She’d be waiting for him.
If he left now, she would be disappointed. At least, hehopedshe would be disappointed. He oughtn’t fool himself—she might be relieved.
It was no use lingering out here by the door any longer. Rafe squared his shoulders, removed his hat, and smoothed his hair into something he hoped appeared decent.
Then he moved through the parlor toward the low chatter in the dining room.
Miss White saw him first. She sat alone at the end of the table while the others talked amiably. Her face lit up upon spotting him, and Rafe went warm all over. Suddenly, it was as if he’d forgotten how to do the simplest things. Walking required effort, and he wasn’t sure what to do with his hands.
Cabot turned around and stood when he saw Rafe. “Good of you to join us,” he said with a good-natured grin.
He meant no harm, but the words grated against Rafe’s already frayed nerves. Did the man need to draw more attention to his late arrival?
Cabot held out a hand toward Miss White. “Miss White, this is Deputy Garland. But I believe you’ve already met?”
“We have,” she said in a warm voice that didn’t waver. If she was nervous at all, she didn’t show it. Unlike Rafe, who could already feel the perspiration at the back of his neck again. “But we haven’t been properly introduced. I’m happy to meet you, Deputy Garland.”
That only made Rafe sweat more. He inclined his head toward her before taking his seat next to Cabot. “As am I, Miss White,” he managed to say.
“Please call me Hannah,” she replied. Her cheeks reddened slightly, the first sign he’d seen that she was also nervous. “Since we’re to . . .” She didn’t finish the sentence, but it was easy enough to finish in his head.Be married.
“Hannah,” he repeated, deciding he liked the way the name sounded on his lips. It fit her perfectly, with her blue eyes and the summery dress she wore.
She watched him a moment, and he realized she was waiting for him to reply with his own Christian name. “I’m Rafael. Rafe,” he corrected. “No one calls me Rafael save for my mother and elder sister.”
She gave him a bright smile at that, and Rafe felt pleased with himself. He dug a spoon into his cold soup. A plate of sliced ham, potatoes, and bright green peas sat next to it, festooned with some sort of green leaves and sliced radishes. Rafe doubted Cabot’s regular boardinghouse customers received such treatment earlier in the evening.
Hannah’s meal was already half-eaten, and Rafe wondered how long she’d sat here alone, waiting for him. The thought made him shovel soup into his mouth.
“I fear I never properly thanked you for coming to our rescue this afternoon,” she said.
“It’s what I’m paid to do,” he said, wincing inwardly as the words came out of his mouth. He made it sound as if money were his only motivation. “Not that I’d need compensation to lend a hand.”
She smiled as if she understood. “And do you like your work?”
Rafe paused. No one had ever asked him that question before. “Yes,” he finally said. “It can be tedious at times, and dangerous, but I can’t see myself doing anything else. I like the adventure of it.” He and Hawk had put everything they had into taming Perseverance into a place law-abiding men might consider living. It was hardly perfect, but at least a man could walk down the street without fear of being robbed.
Women, on the other hand . . . He still wasn’t entirely convinced this town was somewhere a lady like Hannah or her friends would want to live. He was half surprised they hadn’t changed their minds after that ambush up near Horsethief Pass.
