“Are you . . .” Eleanor swallowed the words.No, she thought. She shouldn’t be afraid to ask him. If he’d lost enthusiasm for her and the baby, it was better to know now. “Areyou happy to hear my news?”
His eyes widened, as if surprised by the question. “Yes. Of course I am.”
Eleanor nodded. She twisted her hands together. “That’s good. I’m glad. I was afraid that . . . perhaps you weren’t.”
Merrick swept his gaze across his work before bringing it back to rest on her. It was so hard to know what he was thinking sometimes. “I’m prepared to be a father to this child, just as I’ve always been.”
Eleanor drew in a slow breath to steady herself. He sounded so formal. As if becoming a father was a duty he’d committed to and refused to back away from, instead of something joyful to celebrate. “Merrick, I . . .” She trailed off, the question she’d been wanting to ask him ever since that day by the creek dying on her lips yet again.
Because she didn’t knowwhatto ask.What’s wrong? Why have you been so distant? Do you care for me at all?
He glanced again at his work. He wanted to get back to it, and her moment was slipping away, yet again.
“Merrick,” she said again before she realized she was speaking. She had to saysomethingthough. This couldn’t keep going on as it had been.
“Yes?” His attention was on her again.
Maybe it wasn’t a question she needed to ask him at all. Maybe it was an apology she needed to give him instead. “I’m sorry,” she blurted out. “A few weeks ago, on Rebecca’s wedding day. You . . . reached for me, and I pulled away. I didn’t mean it.”
He watched her a moment, and for a second she thought he was waiting for her to say something else. Finally, his Adam’s apple bobbed and he nodded. “All right.”
“All right,” she repeated. She’d expected him to reach for her. To at least take her hand and squeeze it, or embrace her. But he just stood there, watching her.
“I’ll see you for supper,” she finally said.
“Take my coat.” He pointed to where his coat hung on a peg by the door.
Eleanor shrugged into it. It nearly swallowed her whole, but the second she stepped outside, she was grateful for its warmth.
She glanced back before she closed the door, but Merrick was already hard at work. And as she closed the door, she had a sinking feeling that nothing was reallyall rightat all.
Chapter Sixteen
“THOSE WILL DO JUSTfine,” Graves said from behind the counter at the hardware store. He slid the crate of nails Merrick had brought to the side and opened a drawer below the counter. “This is what I owe you.”
Merrick thanked him as Graves handed him a few bills.
“It’s me who ought to be thanking you. This town uses more nails than I can keep up with. I’ve got two fellows waiting on these already.” He tapped the side of the crate. “Tell the missus I said hello. I hope she’s doing well.”
“She’s just fine,” Merrick said. He raised a hand to say goodbye before threading his way through the store. Eleanor hadn’t made any effort to explain what had happened by the creek since she’d apologized a couple of weeks before. He’d been so hopeful when she finally brought up what had happened—only to be disappointed again.
