“I’m sorry,” she said, the words that wouldn’t come earlier now arising in a rush. “I didn’t want to deceive you, but Clara told me you were placing an advertisement in Dora’s newspaper, and I . . . and I . . . well . . .” Her cheeks flamed as she stumbled over a way to tell Jeremiah how she felt.
He held up a hand to stop her. “You wrote the letters?”
She swallowed and nodded.
“You’re Dee. Dee . . . Deirdre. From New York. With no surname.” He closed his eyes a moment.
“Yes,” she whispered. “I was honest in the letters.” She paused. “My mother used to call me Dee when I was little.”
Jeremiah was looking at her as if he didn’t know who she was. He dragged a hand through his warm brown hair, sending it to fall every which way. “I don’t understand. Why the ruse?”
Deirdre had a hard time looking at him. Not only had she confessed her deception, but now she had to figure out how to tell him about her reasoning.
About how she’d pined after him for almost a year.
“I . . .” Why did this need to be so difficult? Perhaps if she approached it from another angle. “Clara told me what you were doing, and I knew it was because you needed a wife to show your father that you’d settled down and were serious about buying a part of the livery. I feared that if you agreed to marry some woman you’d never met, that you might find yourself in a situation you’d prefer not to be in, and so . . .”
“And so you’re offering yourself?”
She nodded as she tried not to cringe. He sounded as if she were making some sort of sacrifice, when marrying him was all she’d wanted for months.
“No,” he said.
Deirdre’s heart fell. “No?” She couldn’t believe it. Her dream was turning into her greatest nightmare. He was rejecting her.
He didn’t want her at all.
Jeremiah rubbed a hand across his face. “I can’t let you do that.”
A glimmer of hope beckoned. And that was all Deirdre needed to press forward. “But I want to. After all of this . . . I wouldn’t have written to you, engaged Clara and Mr. Thomason in sending the letters, if I didn’t wish to do this.”
Jeremiah’s eyes widened. “Clara and Mr. Thomason assisted you?”
Deirdre couldn’t tell if that was good or bad, but it was true, so she nodded.
He closed his eyes, and she wished she could know what he was thinking. Was he considering it, at least?
She glanced around the platform, which was only half as full as it had been when she’d approached Jeremiah. It wouldn’t be long before his parents arrived on this same train—expecting their son to be married. “When are you expecting your family?” It was half a question and half a reminder to him.
“In two weeks’ time.” He’d opened his eyes again and was studying her.
Deirdre tried not to fidget under his considering gaze. Two weeks wasn’t enough time for him to find someone else.Please say yes. If she thought it hard enough, then perhaps he would agree.
“Your brother would never allow it.”
“Liam has no say over who I choose to marry,” she said with a little more fire in her voice than she’d intended. “Besides, he might agree.” She honestly didn’t know how Liam would react, but if she explained that Jeremiah was soon to become part owner of a business, it could hold sway with Liam and his own aspirations.
“I won’t cause any hardship between you and your family,” Jeremiah said. “It isn’t right.”
A part of her wondered if this was why he’d stepped back from showing an interest in her. It was honorable, even if it drove her mad. “I’ll speak with Liam. When he learns you’ll soon be part owner of the livery, that will go a long way to soothe any hesitation he has.”
Jeremiah didn’t look entirely convinced.
“Our family doesn’t come from wealthy circles,” Deirdre said. “If Liam looks down his nose at anyone, it’s only because he’s working hard to make more of his life. And he ought to respect another man doing the same. He’ll understand when I talk with him.” Or so she hoped, but she wasn’t about to say that to Jeremiah.
He nodded slowly. “I should speak with him first.”
Deirdre’s heart soared. He was coming around, and she bit her lip to keep from grinning. “He’s gone to Denver to meet with some men about his hotel venture. I don’t expect him back for several weeks.” Just as she and Clara had concocted an elaborate plan to ensure Liam didn’t discover her marriage until it was too late, he’d announced his departure to Denver after being unable to find suitable investors in Crest Stone. Deirdre had never been so happy to see her brother leave town. It had made preparing for today so much easier.
