Unease churned Marian’s insides as she watched two of the littler girls grow fascinated with an insect that crawled across the ground. How could she ever give this up?
She chewed on her lip as she returned inside the quiet schoolhouse. Sitting down at her table, she rested her hands in her lap. She loved this little schoolroom. She loved the children, teaching, watching them learn.
Did she love Cole more than all of that?
Marian dropped her head into her hands. She’d not yet consideredlove. How could one be certain that these feelings were love and not just a heady rush of joy at drawing a man’s attraction?
No, it wasn’t the latter. She thought more of Cole than that. But was it love?
And did her feelings even matter if he didn’t feel the same way?
Marian’s breath caught in her throat. A different but familiar unsettled feeling traipsed through her now.He doesn’t want to marry you.
He’d never mentioned marriage again, not after making light of it that evening he’d walked her home after the rock had sailed through the schoolhouse window. If he didn’t see marriage as an option, then where was all of this headed?
If it weren’t an option, then her choice was clear.
She straightened and reached for the lunch she’d wrapped in a towel that morning, not feeling a bit hungry. Instead, a deep, hollow feeling had opened inside her. Giving up either teaching or Cole would hurt—that she’d known for a while. But she’d let herself enjoy it all without thinking too much about the future.
The future was coming, though, and the hurt would only grow if she put the decision off. It was best to make it now. Tears pricked at her eyes as she opened the sliced chicken sandwich she’d made at home.
She would speak to Cole soon. As soon as she could gather the courage.
Chapter Eighteen
Cole whistled as hestrode toward the schoolhouse. He had no gift for Marian today, but he hoped sharing the news that the glass had arrived early for the schoolhouse window would be present enough. He could envision her face lighting up as he told her, and he walked a little faster.
The last children were just leaving as Jessilyn stepped inside behind Marian. Cole smiled. Marian’s love of teaching had grown on her sister, and it was nice to see how their combined enthusiasm benefited the children of Last Chance.
“Hello,” he said jovially as he reached the schoolhouse steps.
“Cole,” Marian replied. She shut the door behind her before stepping down to meet him. Her smile was tight, and years of seeking out the truth in men who preferred lies set Cole on the edge.
His eyes flitted to the door. Jessilyn wouldn’t have just gone inside if there was trouble. “Did something happen?” he asked as his gaze settled back on Marian.
“No,” she said quickly. “All has been well.”
