“Have you any thoughts about who it might be? Because I certainly do.”
Nate rubbed his forehead with his unbruised hand. “Sissy Flagler.” He went on to tell Stuart about how the scarred man’s words echoed those Miss Flagler had spoken to Ruthann in Hill’s General Store. Of course, how either of them knew about his experience in the Army was a looming, unanswered question.
Stuart nodded thoughtfully. “It has to be her. Her father’s money could buy any number of men desperate enough to chase a lady down in the street or break into a business in the dead of night. The only question is how to prove it.”
Nate didn’t have a solution for that conundrum. He wondered if Ruthann would. The very thought of her—her sweet smile, those lovely blue eyes, her simple joy in seeing him happy—made his stomach clench with regret. He closed his eyes at the pain.It was for the best.
“Are you all right?”
Stuart’s question made Nate’s eyes fly open. It was almost as if he’d forgotten his friend was present.
“I’m fine,” he said shortly as he reached for the broom.
“Really?” Stuart arched an eyebrow. “Because it doesn’t seem so.” He paused. “Ruthann isn’t doing so well either.”
Nate’s fingers clamped harder around the broom handle at that news. What did he think? That Ruthann would return home to her parents, forget all about him, and go on with her life? While that would have made him feel better about his decision, he knew better. That vision of her heartbreak spilling out all around them as he told her he didn’t want her was all too vivid in his mind. He clenched his jaw at the thought of her feeling such sorrow over him. It certainly wasn’t something she deserved, and he’d been the one who’d caused it.
But it was for the best . . . wasn’t it?
“I’m sorry to hear that,” he said carefully, keeping his words measured just so in order to avoid conveying the emotion that welled up inside like a torrent of rain against a dam.
“To be honest, I’m surprised,” Stuart replied.
That got Nate’s attention. He looked up from where he’d begun sweeping. “It was what we’d agreed to. I thought you’d be happy about it.”
“Well . . .” Stuart nodded slowly, as if he were considering Nate’s words. He ran a hand over his jacket and then dropped it to his side. “I might’ve been wrong.”
Nate didn’t know what to say to that. At least, nothing that wouldn’t make him feel even worse about sending Ruthann away.
“Look, I thought I was protecting my sister. It was obvious she had feelings for you when we were younger, and when you left . . . Well, she would never admit it to me, but I could see how unhappy she was. But I’ve never seen her so happy, as she’s been since marrying you.” He paused. “And in the past few weeks, you’ve seemed happier too. Which is why I don’t understand what’s happened.”
Nate began sweeping again, as if the act of moving around the debris on the floor would push away the remorse threatening to undo him. “It wouldn’t work. It’s better this way.”
“That’s not good enough,” Stuart said.
“It isn’t your concern.”
Stuart clasped his hand around the broom handle, stilling it. “It is. My sister is despondent with grief and my oldest friend is denying himself the one thing that would make him happiest.”
Nate didn’t reply, but he let go of the broom. Stuart didn’t know the images that tortured him. And he didn’t know how those memories affected Nate in a way that endangered Ruthann.
“Does this have something to do with what happened the other night? When you were out searching for those outlaws? Ruthann said that when you returned, you were different.”
Nate clenched his jaw.
“For the love of Jupiter, Nate. Spit it out. You’ve been keeping enough secrets since you’ve come back. If you can’t tell my sister, then tell me.”
Nate ran his hands over his face. He had to say something. Goodness knew, Stuart wouldn’t leave him alone otherwise. “I can’t protect her, all right? I couldn’t even protect myself up there. You weren’t there. You didn’t see me freeze up. Jasper Hill probably thinks I’ve lost my mind, the way I sat there on the horse. I couldn’t draw, I couldn’t do anything.” He drew in a breath, steadying his ragged voice. “Ruthann deserves better.”
Stuart nodded slowly, but he didn’t speak. It was almost as if he were waiting for Nate to say more.
But when Nate didn’t, Stuart shoved his hands into his pockets. “All right. I hear you. I’ll speak with her.”
That was it. Stuart left, and Nate stood there, wondering what his friend meant. Speak to Ruthann about what? About what a coward her husband was? About how smart it would be to let Nate move forward with the annulment?
He should have been happy with how the conversation ended, but instead he just felt empty inside.
Stuart agreed with him, clearly. He was a coward, and nothing could change that.
