I met my sister’s gaze over the top of my niece’s head. “I read the oncologist’s report this morning. I’m not satisfied with the way he’s handling your care. I’m going to get a second opinion from?—”
“Cal,” my sister interrupted. “Let’s just have some pancakes this morning. Please?” She glanced at Lila, who was flinging flour halfway across the kitchen in an attempt to stir the baking soda in. My eyelid twitched at the mess, but I could clean that up when we were done.
“Fine,” I said. “Here, kiddo. Mix this in.”
Lila beamed up at me, and my hard heart softened.
The three of us ate pancakes at the kitchen island, and then Mary came to take Lila to preschool. I’d signed her up for a no-tech Montessori school as soon as the two of them came to stay, and I was sure it was the best care Lila could get under the circumstances, but?—
“You have that look on your face like you’re spiraling,” my sister said.
I blinked and met her gaze. “I don’t spiral.”
“Uh-huh.”
Clicking my tongue, I said, “I was just thinking about the preschool Lila’s going to.”
“It’s perfect. She loves it. She’s made friends.”
“Their educational targets seem a little lax, and—what are you doing?”
Erica slid off her chair, letting out a now-familiar groan that told me her body was all aches and pains. She shuffled over to where I stood in front of the sink and put her hands on my cheeks. “You know I’m grateful for everything you’ve done for us, right?”
I frowned. “You’re my sister. What was I supposed to do, turn you away? You know you’re welcome here anytime.”
She smiled sadly. “If anything happens to me?—”
“I don’t want to hear this,” I said, pulling away. “Your bloodwork is stable. People beat breast cancer every day.”
“If anything happens to me,” Erica repeated more forcefully, “I want you to take care of Lila.”
I froze, a lump jamming itself halfway down my throat. “Erica?—”
“Cal, there’s no one else.”
“Trevor—”
“Her father walked out when I got my diagnosis, and he hasn’t shown any interest in stepping up since then. We weren’t married, and he won’t fight you for custody. He might try to squeeze you for some cash, but you’ve got plenty of that. I want you to take care of her when I’m gone.”
The metal bowl with smears of half-dried pancake batter clattered against the sink when I dropped it. “You’re not fucking dying, Erica. I won’t let that happen.” It horrified me when my voice trembled, and I knew Erica noticed.
“You can’t control everything, Cal.”
“I’m getting that second opinion.”
She huffed. “Fine. What’s a few more needles jammed into my arms?”
I went back to washing the dishes. My head housekeeper had passed by the doorway twice already, and I knew she was annoyed I was doing this, but I couldn’t stand still while my sister spouted that kind of bullshit. I scrubbed until the stainless steel of the bowl gleamed, then tossed it onto the counter where it dripped in growing puddles.
“Of course I’ll take care of her,” I finally replied. “The two of you are the only family I’ve got left.”
Erica’s hand landed between my shoulder blades. “Thank you. My lawyer’s drawing up my will—stop looking at me like that, Cal. It’s just a precaution. I’m still fighting this and I intend to win.”
“That’s the first thing you’ve said this morning that makes any kind of sense.”
“Mommy! Mary said we have to go so I’m not late for school.” We both turned toward the kitchen entrance as Lila came sprinting toward us. Erica braced herself for a full-speed hug while I winced. My sister smiled and kissed her daughter on the head. Lila gave me a quick hug, and a familiar pit of anxiety opened up in my gut.
If the worstdidhappen…would I be able to take care of Lila? That kind of responsibility made me feel sick. She was so little. So vulnerable. She reminded me so much of?—
