TWENTY-NINE
DEENA
The dress wasa little tight around my midsection, and I let my fingers trail down the luxuriously thick fabric. Then I doubled-checked my hair and makeup and turned around to face Cal. He sat reclined on my couch, watching me through half-lidded eyes.
“Gorgeous,” he said, and my heart took off. “Any chance I can change your mind and convince you to take that dress off again?”
I swatted at him as he approached me. I smiled and tilted my lips up for a kiss, but the truth was, I didn’t want to sleep with him right now.
I needed to tell him the truth first.
Having sex with Cal without telling him about the pregnancy felt dishonest somehow. I still wasn’t fully sure how he would react, and I didn’t want to delay any longer. A nice dinner would be the perfect opportunity.
The restaurant was dimly lit and romantic. The service was impeccable. Cal arched his brows when I refused a glass of wine, and my heart galloped.
He told me about his trip, the ins and outs of the negotiation. Iheard none of it. When he asked me about my week and whether I’d taken any time off, I answered vaguely, forgetting the words as soon as they came out of my mouth.
My entire brain was consumed with the secret I was keeping. It needed to come out.
I realized, after the waiter took our menus once we’d placed our order, that there would be no perfect time. I had to just come out and say it.
“Cal,” I started—and stopped.
He set down his glass of wine, those all-seeing eyes steady as they met mine. “Yes.”
“There’s something I need to tell you.”
He nodded, unsurprised. “I’ve been waiting for you to work up the courage to tell me what’s on your mind.” His gaze was fond as his lips curled. “Must be something big. I’ve never seen you hold back with me like this. You’re not quitting, are you? HR cleared our relationship weeks ago. Everyone’s forgotten about The Email.”
I heard the capital letters in his voice, saw them in the sparkle of his eyes. I huffed, then took a gulp of my sparkling water. “It’s not that,” I said. When my glass was back on the thick white tablecloth, I let out a long breath.
He cared about me—but a baby was a big deal. There was a person growing inside me. It wasn’t just moving in together or telling each other we loved each other for the first time. This was life-changing in a way that turned everything upside down.
Would he want the baby? Would he wantme?
I studied his expression, looking for some kind of clue. Part of me was ready for rejection. Wasn’t that what I’d always experienced, starting with my youth? I’d never fit in with my family. I’d never had a relationship that lasted. I always did better on my own.
I could raise a baby on my own. If he didn’t want it—didn’t want me—then I could do it.
But the part of me that had opened up to Cal wept with grief at the thought of it. It feltso goodto have someone to lean on. To have someone who supported me, who cared about me.
I wanted him to want this baby. I wanted him to be happy.
But Cal didn’t like the unknown. He struggled when he felt out of control. This would be difficult for him.
Cal reached across the table and took my hand. “Deena,” he murmured. “Whatever you need to say, just say it. There’s nothing you can tell me that will change how I feel about you.”
My chest filled with warmth, and my bottom lip began to tremble. All the carefully prepared words that I’d marshaled in my mind vanished. What came out was the blunt, unvarnished truth: “I’m pregnant.”
Cal went utterly still, apart from a slight widening of his eyes. The blood drained from his face, and a horrible feeling began to well up in my gut. He looked at me like he’d seen a ghost, and my worst fears came true.
He didn’t want me. Didn’t want the baby. Everything that had happened since March—since December—had been a lie.
Then he sucked in a hard breath, and his eyes lit with…withhope. “Really?” he whispered. “You’re sure?”
I gulped and nodded. “Blood tests confirmed it two days ago. I was waiting for you to get back to tell you in person.”
Suddenly, he was standing. Then he’d circled the table and dropped to his knees beside me while he dragged my chair from the table. Big, warm hands landed on my thighs, and he looked up at me with the kind of worshipful, joyful look that I never thought I’d see from him—from anyone. His hand slid up to rest on my stomach. I put my hand over his.
