“I do.” He drags his fingers along mine, thoughtful for a moment. “They’re just…honest and joyful. They’re not caught up in the social media storm, or gossip, or who’s the best. It’s about having fun, and sometimes I need the reminder there’s more to this job than winning.”
“Is this something you can see yourself doing professionally later? Coaching?” My stomach twists. I know what that life looks like when it’s all-consuming.
“For the pros?” Flip strokes the center of my palm. “It depends on what else is happening in my life. I like playing in Toronto because it keeps me close to my sister and my parents. Ideally, I’d like to finish my career here, but anything can happen.” As if sensing my unease, Flip curls his hand around mine. “My future after hockey will be made with the people who are closest to me in mind.”
I force a smile and take a breath. We’re on our first date. Stressing about what things might look like a few months from now, let alone several years, doesn’t make sense. “I just see the way things didn’t work out with my parents, and I want to be able to honor what my partner needs, and for my partner to be able to do the same. My mom set aside her needs to make room for my dad’s and it didn’t work out for them.”
“I think that makes a lot of sense, especially with how fresh this all is for you. I’ve made bad relationship decisions, and I want to avoid repeating those when it comes to you. Which is why I want to do this right and take it slow.”
My heart skips a couple of beats. “That makes me feel important.”
“You are important, Tally. I care about you.”
“I care about you, too.” My feelings for Flip already feel bigger than I know what to do with.
Our drinks and appetizers arrive, breaking the sudden tension. We order our mains and dig into the appetizer. “You’re not going to try to feed me this time?”
“It feels like we’re being watched,” Flip whispers as a shark swims by.
I laugh and relax a little.
“When is your next showcase? When do I get to see you on stage again?”
“We don’t have a major performance until the end of the term, but we’ll have class performances mid-semester and a few smaller individual pieces leading up to our final showcase. All our routines are set, but it’s been a struggle to book enough practice time lately.”
“Is your schedule too heavy?” he asks.
“No. Our usual studio is being renovated after a flood.”
“That’s not great. How long will that take?”
“Hard to say.” I shrug. “They’ve been slow with updates.”
“There’s a yoga studio in my building. I can check availability for you,” Flip offers.
“I appreciate that, and if we can’t find another solution, I’ll let you know, but it’s a lot of extra commuting, and they also both have part-time jobs, so we’re trying to find something close to campus.”
“That’s a lot of added pressure with everything else you have going on,” Flip notes with concern. “It can’t be easy. Courses, dance practice, family stuff.”
“We don’t have to talk about heavy stuff.”
“I want this with you, Tally. I want you to feel safe with me, to confide in me.”
“I used to think I wanted a relationship like my parents’,” I admit. “I always thought they were happy, now I know they weren’t, and everything is reframed.”
I see all these great relationships around me with my Terror friends, and with Cammie and Chase, and I want to believe they’ll all endure, but who knows what’s happening behind closed doors? What if they all fall apart, too? It’s terrifying.
“I had my faith shaken like that,” Flip says softly.
“With your ex from highschool?”
He nods.
“What happened?”
“I loved her and I thought she loved me too.” His eyes lift. “But she wanted me for all the wrong reasons.”
My heart aches for him. “Because of your career?”
