The kettle boils and Mom steps in to pour water into our mugs. “Because I didn’t want to put that on you.”
I voice the question that’s been plaguing me. “Is it my fault you’re splitting up? Is it because I moved out for university?”
She sets the kettle down and turns to me. “No, honey. You and your brother and sister aren’t the problem. My relationship with your dad is the problem, and I didn’t want to make it yours, because for the majority of your life, I did.”
“I don’t know what that means.”
“We have always been close, Tallulah, and you have always been the kind of person who steps in to help and take care of people. You’re a lot like me, but I should never have relied on you the way I did. It wasn’t fair to you, or your brother or sister, or even your dad. My inability to tell him what I needed and why is the reason our marriage failed. He is a great guy and an amazing friend, but he’s not a good partner for me.”
“He should have fought for us, he should have put us first.”
“I made it easy for him to shirk his parental and fatherly duties by letting you be my coparent. You moving out has been good for our relationship because it allowed you a reprieve fromthe responsibility that was forced on you. We needed a little space from each other, and Ties and Fenna needed to see you as a sister and not another mom.”
“I’m really fucking mad at Dad.” My chin wobbles, and tears spill over.
“I know, give yourself time to feel all the feelings. He really fucked it up today. He should have said no to whatever work call came in.”
“He was ready to blow me off for Flip Madden before he even took the call. Maybe that meeting would have taken five minutes, but still.”
Mom’s nostrils flare. “Don’t do what I did with your dad. Confront him and make him own his choices. He is not to blame for all of this. If I’d been honest about my feelings, he would have tried to change, but I never gave him the chance.”
“And it’s too late, now?” I ask, still stupidly hopeful.
“Twenty-five years of being less important than his job is too much to get past.” She smiles sadly. “I don’t want you to resent your dad, Tally. I was going to do that anyways because I’m the one who lived it the entire time.”
“I really hate this,” I admit.
“Me, too, baby. But your dad and I are better as friends. Right now there are a lot of hard feelings to sort through, but we’ll get there. I promise.” She opens her arms and I fall into them.
“I missed you,” I whisper.
“Me, too, but I want to work on building a better mother-daughter relationship with you. One where you’re not picking up the slack for your dad with your brother and sister.”
“I’d like that.”
We hug for long minutes until we’re both sniffling. I grab us tissues and unpack the care package.
I survey the counter. There are cookies, cinnamon buns, fresh bread, and a whole cake. “Have you been on a baking kick?”
“What would give you that idea?”
We both giggle.
“It’s good half my friends play for the hockey team and have bottomless pits.”
“Ties said something similar about his robotics friends.”
“How’s he doing?”
“Okay. Staying busy with robotics and Fenna is focused on cello.”
“And you?”
“I’m better now that we’ve talked. I didn’t want to assume you were okay, especially when I knew you probably weren’t.”
My phone buzzes in my back pocket with a call. My stomach twists as dad’s name flashes across the screen. What if someone snapped a photo of me and Flip together and he already knows he took me out for dinner?
“You should answer that. It’s late and I need to get home anyway.”
