“That’s the thing, Mom. I wasn’t worried. I knew you would be supportive and that you would see exactly why I was makingthe choice.” It won’t be long-term. Eventually I’ll move in with Phillip, but in the meantime, I’ll work on repairing my relationship with my dad, and this is a start. It’s the right thing to do. I feel it in my heart.
“He and I need this more than you and me, and Fenna deserves a chance to build the same kind of connection we have, just with a little more balance.”
“I’m so proud to be your mother.”
“And I’m just as proud to be your daughter.”
CHAPTER 57
FLIP
Tally,
I’m nervous.
So damn nervous.
Tonight’s game is a big deal. If we win, we start the playoffs in Toronto, and you’ll be able to come to the first game, which I desperately want. More than that, though, I want to be at your showcase.
You are magic on stage. There is nothing I love more than watching you dance.
Well. That’s not entirely true, but watching you dance is definitely in my top five. Right up there with playing hockey and being close to you.
I want my cake, and I want to eat it too. So I’m manifesting a win tonight so I can sit in the audience and watch you own the stage. And then I’ll finally be able to hug you again and tell you how much I love you.
I’m going to be really honest.
I’m kind of obsessed with you, Tally.
I printed out your favorite fic, the one with all the highlighted passages, and I read those parts before I go to bed every night. I also maybe borrowed one of your well-read books from your shelf and compulsively read the dogeared pages when I miss you the most.
I packed the pillowcase that you sleep on at my place so I could put it on the hotel pillow and hug it.
I borrowed your travel lotion from your backpack so I could sniff it when I’m desperate, which is really fucking often.
I bought myself some of those salty dropjes that you love and tried to eat them because they remind me of you. I’m still not a fan, but I’d suffer through them just to be close to you.
One more confession, and this one is a little filthy.
I found a pair of your panties on the floor before I left for the away series.
It was the night you stayed over and we made grilled cheese and canned tomato soup and cuddled on the couch. And then we started kissing. That’s another thing I can’t wait to do again, by the way. And you climbed into my lap and made those sweet little sounds and one thing led to another because one thing always leads to another, and I couldn’t get you naked fast enough. I just wanted to be surrounded by you, feel the warmth of you under me, swallow up your pretty moans.
Sorry. That got heated.
Anyway. I found your blue Terror cheekies. I packed them. And last night I fucked them and I don’t even feel a little bit bad about it.
So yeah. I’m a little obsessed with you, TallulahVander Zee.
With your sweetness and your sass.
With your beauty.
With your talent.
With everything about you.
I love you.
