No inner Arwen. It was…something. I’ll fill you in when you get here.
Fee
On our way.
Fee and Cammie arrive ten minutes later. They take one look at me and fold me into their arms. I burst into tears. Again. Parsnip relocates himself to his cat tower to observe from a distance. When I’m calm enough, I relay the whole sordid story.
“I’m so sorry about your parents.” Cammie squeezes my hand.
“That was a really shitty way for them to tell you,” Fee says.
“I guess it’s better that they waited until after the showcase. My performance might have suffered if they’d told us last week.” Which had probably been their plan, except I had to bail on family dinner night to rehearse.
I flop back and tip my chin up, but the tears keep falling anyway. My most important relationships are shifting and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. But I’m mindful of bemoaning my parental situation when Fee has lost both of hers. Yes, she has her older sister, Lexi, and Roman, Lexi’s husband, is the number-one dad in the world, but still.
I switch to my newest humiliation. “I can’t believe I smacked Flip’s dick with my face.”
“Did it feel substantial?” Fee asks.
“Yeah, but this is not how I wanted to find that out.” I roll my eyes back to the ceiling. “How will I ever face him again?” Not to mention the speech I laid on him right before I exited his vehicle. Hungover me can’t be trusted with words any more than drunk me. Or non-drunk me, where Flip is concerned.
Cammie crosses her legs. “I know it feels horrible right now,but this is Flip Madden we’re talking about. It’s not like he’s made all the best choices in the history of the universe.”
“The media definitely does a good job of skewing things,” Fee grumbles. She knows firsthand what that’s like. Her sister was Roman’s coach when they got married mid-season. The rumor mill was churning, and it made Fee’s final semester of high school tough. But she had me and the Babes, which helped ease the sting.
“I just wish…everything was different.” That my parents weren’t giving up on each other, that Flip’s answer had been yes, that the way I’d asked him had been less insensitive in the first place.
“I didn’t realize you saw me like that, too.”
“You’re always beautiful, Tally.”
“You’re also still my coach’s daughter.”
Reading into the things he said won’t change the outcome. I still hurt him, and he still said no.
“We should go to Just Desserts for cake,” Fee suggests.
“Yes to this,” Cammie agrees.
“You just came from breakfast.”
“I always have room for cake,” Fee replies.
“Same,” Cammie adds.
“Cake it is.” That fits perfectly into the eating-my-feelings strategy.
I lie on the couch with teabags on my eyes for ten minutes to take down the redness before we venture outside. It’s a cold December afternoon, with the promise of snow in the air.
The walk is pretty quiet, but once we have our treats, the analysis begins.
“So this thing you have for Flip explains why you’re always picking these placeholder boyfriends.” Cammie digs into her double chocolate fudge torte.
“Placeholder boyfriends?” I parrot.
Fee swallows a bite of white chocolate mousse cake. “Yeah, guys who are okay, but you’ll never get attached to them.”
I frown as I ponder that. “Shit. Is that what I’ve been doing?”
