How do I…undo it?
Can I?
I don’t know. I have no idea. But when she collapses against me and yawns like a kitten, I hold her like I’ll never let her go. This bond that has formed between us…
It’s a problem for tomorrow.
eight
Billie
I’min the supermarket the next morning with my mother.
Bright and early.
She likes to come before the crowd. It’s difficult to focus on a shopping list when I’ve got Knox on the brain, but domestic duties call. There’s an announcement about BOGO frozen cheesecakes, shopping cart wheels go squeak. Muzak plays an instrumental version of “Abracadabra” by Lady Gaga. But all I hear is Knox’s voice.
I’d rather remain solitary than let someone get close enough to burn me again. That’s why I don’t want your peach pies.
Did he realize how unconvincing he sounded?
He might as well have said,I’ve never been cared for, sweetheart. Please don’t stop. Please don’t quit on me or stop baking me pies.
My pathetic heart flips over, wondering what he’s doing just that second. Is there any possible way he’s thinking about me, too? Does he miss me the way I miss him when we’re not together?
“Billie,” my mother says, poking me in the shoulder.
I realize I’ve been staring at the cartoon face on the cereal box without blinking. “Huh?”
“What is wrong with you this morning? Didn’t you sleep well last night?”
“I slept fine.” Like the dead, in fact, my body the consistency of a limp noodle. “I’m just thinking about that, um…horse auction. The one going on at Hauser’s farm today.”
My mother’s mouth purses with sympathy. “I’m sorry, honey, I know you had your eye on that gray mare, but the ranch doesn’t have the money right now.”
“I know, Mom.” I rub her arm to reassure her. “It’s fine. There will be others.”
“You’ve wanted that mare for over a year, though…” She continues, dabbing at her eyes. “I wish I could buy it for you, Billie. I really do.”
Is there a part of me that is in pain over losing my chance at such a beautiful horse?
A horse that feels like it was made for me?
Yes. It hurts. Badly.
But I can’t let my mother see how much.
There will be other horses.
“Mom…”
I trail off when the nape of my neck prickles ominously. An awareness warms the lining of my stomach. Before I even turn my head, I know he’s there.
Knox is here.
And I’m right.
I look to the left and find him turning the corner of the aisle, his deep green eyes boring into me, ever so briefly, before fixating on something in the distance. Oh, my word. Every drop of blood in my body sizzles at the sight of him in public. In the privacy of his home, his rugged looks are something that I can’t escape. But in the light of day, his attributes are amplified.Goodness, he’s tall. Built. Rugged. Mean looking. He wears a black Stetson, black jeans and a faded flannel shirt. A bomber jacket.
