“I don’t know yet, but there’s gotta be a reason, right?” Ava says. She nods toward the mountain. “Life can be beautiful sometimes.” She reaches over and runs a soft hand over my old brow. “But it can be pretty damn lonely, too, huh?”
Ava begins to hum and then sing “Birds of a Feather” in a breathy voice that is surprisingly good.
Birds of a feather we should stick together ’til the day that I die.
Ava runs her fingers through my hair, calming me, as she sings.
“Your friends don’t know, do they?” Ava asks when she finishes.
I do not answer.
“I’ll teach you music and pop culture if you decide to give living a shot, how’s that sound?”
I shut my eyes and feel the soft touch of another soul for the first time in a very long while.
My eyes grow as heavy as wings, and I can already feel myself flying, soaring over Gull Island and Suttons Bay like the birds used to do when I was but a boy, unsure as to whether to return to this world or escape for good.
“Let me get you something to eat,” Ava whispers. “I make a mean microwave burrito.”
The last thing I see before I fall asleep is the raven behind Ava taking flight.
Barry
My cell rings.
“Barry Goggins! What’s up, buddy?” My agent’s voice booms down the line.
“I thought you’d deleted my number.”
“Found it in my Rolodex, buddy!”
“Makes sense,” I say. “I don’t think you’ve actually called me since the ’80s. I always talk to your assistant’s assistant. Are you too embarrassed to talk to me in person when offering me all those shitty commercials? Is that beneath your pay grade?”
Stu Matthews has been my agent since he booked me onThe Golden Girls. Stu represents huge TV clients now, mega stars and legends, and yet he didn’t dump me after my career went into the toilet. He hasn’t actually deigned to talk to me, but I gotta give it to the guy, his connections may have not landed me another huge role, but they have kept me alive and in the game these past few decades. Most agents would have burned my number, but he has funneled those shitty roles to his assistant’s assistant to teach her about the biz and keep me afloat with a steady stream of projects anybody with a semblance of self-respect would turn down: commercials, minor roles on shows that have already been panned or canceled, acting in industrial videos for corporations and human resources training where I say inane things like,“As an employee of Industrial-ite Manufacturing, your benefits package includes two weeks of paid vacation, five sick days and a health care plan that covers up to ten percent of your hospital stay,” or where I get reprimanded for saying sexist things in the break room like, “Have you lost weight, Betty?” and “That sweater sure looks good on you, Tina!”
And I can guarantee Tina—as a card-carrying gay man—that sweater did not look good on her.
I have done anything and everything over the years to stay in the game.
Anything and everything.
“Listen, buddy—” Stu starts.
“Please don’t call me buddy,” I interrupt. “I’m not the Lab you rent for those creepy family holiday photos you take to make you seem human.”
“I forgot how funny you were, buddy!” he roars. “I’m actually calling with good news!”
“Another car commercial for Desert Kia?”
“A script came for you,” he says. Dramatic pause. “Paramount, buddy. I’ve already read it. It’s a damn good role. This is what you’ve waited for the last forty years!”
I know what he’s going to say before he says it.
“The newBilly the Hillbillymovie!” Stu yells. “Role of Levi, Loretta’s long-lost brother who escaped in the first movie. Good guy or bad guy? Nobody knows, buddy! It’s the role of a lifetime. And get this: They don’t even want you to read. It’s yours if you want it. Kyle fucking Moses says you are the perfect actor for it. They’re booting Billy Bob Thornton to the curb for you. Director has signed off on it, too.”
I cannot open my mouth to speak. Kyle wasn’t lying.
“And they sent a contract! It’s movie money, buddy, not commercial cash! But, being the great agent I am and since they want Barry and only Barry, I will squeeze every penny I can out of them. This will resurrect your career, buddy! You won’t have to do that sad little drag show in the desert anymore. And once thecasting news hits the trades, you will be in demand. Everyone in Hollywood loves a comeback story, and I will have you on the cover of every magazine in the country. The Golden Guy!”
