“Too late,” Teddy stage-whispers.
“You’re always so funny, Teddy,” I say, glaring at him. “Butthat act is getting old, too. Some things in life are serious, like friendship. I didn’t want to bother any of you because I’m a nice guy, but I’m sick of being nice, and, if I’m being completely honest...”
“Please,” Teddy says.
“...I feel overlooked around here and need just a little bit of help.”
Teddy and Barry glance quickly at one another, and I know them so well that I can tell their residual hangovers from last night have not faded and that they think I’m just being ditzy and overdramatic this morning because they hurt my feelings.
Just appease our little Rose. She goes all St. Olaf on us every now and then.
“I’ll help you,” Vince finally says in the sweetest voice. “I like to help my mom around the house.”
“He still lives at home,” Teddy says. “We have a winner!”
Vince looks wounded.
Teddy doesn’t stop. He grabs the sirloin off the counter, walks over and holds it in front of Barry’s crotch. “And you look like you know how to handle an old piece of meat.”
Vince recoils.
“What is wrong with you lately, Teddy?” I ask. “You’re even more vicious than usual. You’re more like a Mean Girl than a Golden Girl. Something is up.”
“Yeah,I’mup,” Teddy says. “And I shouldn’t be at this hour.”
“I’m sorry,” Barry says to Vince. “Teddy doesn’t know what he’s saying.”
“Yes, I do. What’s your friend’s name, Barry?” Teddy asks, his tone becoming even more belligerent. “Do you remember? He just said it. Venture a guess since you two are destined to marry and be together forever.”
“Stop it, Teddy,” I say.
“Say it, Barry!” Teddy prods.
Barry looks at the young man.
“Vince,” the young man says. “My name is Vince.”
“I’m con-VINCE-d Barry will never call you again,” Teddy says.
“Shut up, Teddy.”
“Fuck off, Barry.”
“Yeah, fuck off, Barry,” Sid adds.
“What did I do to you?” Barry says, turning to Sid.
“You hit on my friend at Streetbar and acted as if I wasn’t even there,” Sid says.
“Like you had a shot,” Barry scoffs.
In the awkward silence that follows, Sid’s chin quivers, and a sad tear springs free.
“I’m sorry, Sid,” Barry says quickly. “I didn’t mean it.”
“Yes, you did.”
“Is that why you hit on me last night on Grindr?” Vince asks Barry. “Because the guy you wanted wasn’t interested?”
