My mind begins racing with all the possibilities of what that could mean. She continues before I can open my mouth to speak.
“I don’t know if you know this since you were pretty young when she bought it, but she owned a small house closer to downtown Seabrook. She rented it out for passive income, but she left it to you, in her will.” She’s looking at me like a little kid who’s being told bad news.
“Oh my gosh.” My voice comes out as small as if I were the kid she’s imagining me to be. “That’s… that’s great news, right?”
“Well.” My mom tilts her head to the side as if weighing the pros and cons. “It is amazing news in my opinion.”
“But… what? What are you not saying?” I urge, sensing she has cards she doesn’t want to reveal.
“But I know you don’t want to stay here.” She looks around at the guesthouse, in almost the same condition as it was when I arrived a few weeks ago. “You’re practically still packed andready to fly away at the drop of a hat.” She chuckles but it lacks heart.
It’s the most my mom has ever let on that me leaving would be difficult for her. She’s always said my eventual moving away is just part of life. And if her stoicism is for show, I’ve believed her act.
“I thought you were excited for me to go? I was only going because—”
“Yes, I know, honey.” She cuts me off.
I furrow my brow. She never lets me talk about working to support her. To eventually retire her. Isn’t that what she wants?
Just tell me what you want, and I’ll do it, my mind urges.
“Anyways,” she pushes on, talking fast enough to pummel past the split second of rising emotion. “The other thing I wanted to tell you was that…”
I’ve never heard her speak so timidly. It has me leaning toward her in anticipation.
“Well, Lottie also left me the house.”
“This house?” I screech, pointing down. “This whole house?”
She nods.
“Oh my gosh,” I say, so breathless it barely forms the syllables required to make the words. “That’s…” I shake my head, tears forming in my eyes. “Incredible.”
I try to blink the tears away, not wanting to scare my mom off, but the news lands with a surprising force. It’s so final—Lottie is really gone. The fact that we were discussing her things because she wasn’t here to have them anymore made my chest feel like collapsing, but at the same time, the crushing weight of gratefulness was there too.
This was everything I ever wanted. To give my mom a place of her own. A place where she felt free to make decisionspurely because she wanted to. Not because she was sacrificing her wants for mine. And here it was, at the cost of Lottie’s life, something I never would have been willing to give had I been given the choice.
“Wow,” I say.
My mom’s eyes glisten, so subtle that I’m unsure if it’s just the trick of the light, before she continues. “And she left me her convenience stores.”
My eyes widen.
“All seven of them,” she adds.
My mouth hangs open, but I can’t choose the first words to leave it. At my inability to respond, my mom forges on.
“But hey, one thing at a time, right? Let’s go visit the cottage she left you first. I’ll be out front while you get ready, okay?” She pats my ankle through the fluffy comforter again like she just told me what was for dinner, not like she just delivered news that would change our lives in ways I couldn’t even process right now. She stands to leave and disappears as quickly as she appeared. That woman. The ever-elusive nymph. Even-keel to the point of being unsettling. But maybe that’s what you learn to do when you become a single mother overnight. Despite being so much like her, there are so many things I don’t understand about her.
After yesterday’s meltdown, it feels like the dam inside me has been opened and closing it might be impossible. But as I’m left sitting on my bed, ten pounds heavier with this new information, I allow myself two seconds of bafflement before shuffling out of bed and continuing in the only way I know how. The only way I’veseenhow. I throw on clothes without looking at them and meet my mom at the car downstairs.
If there’s a piece of Lottie left in the world, I want to see it immediately.
Chapter 13
This is it?” I ask, eyes bulging out of my skull.
“Mh-hmm.” My mom nods.
