He doesn’t make eye contact, looking sheepish. “I didn’t want it to seem like I had an agenda for coming on the tour, other than serving your book.”
“I would never have thought that.” It truly would not have occurred to me. Mar and I are planning to see family on this trip. If Shanthi’s family lived en route, I would hope she’d do the same. “Family is everything—of course you should see your sister when you’re in the same town.”
He nods. “Thanks. I didn’t want to miss the stock signing, but it was the last time we’d be able to see each other while I’m here.”
I wave him off. “I’m relieved, actually. I thought you were avoiding me.”
“Avoiding you?”
I take a breath. “I thought maybe you regretted…Seattle. You’ve been a bit distant the past couple of days.”
“I—” He scratches the back of his neck. “I’ve been feeling guilty for making such a creep move. I meant to apologize the morning after, when I brought you coffee, but Maral was there and you were dressed…” He clears his throat, and my nipples peak under my jacket at the memory of him seeing me in a thin camisole and panties. “I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. I figured keeping my distance would be the best bet. Easier to stay in line that way.”
Something hot ignites in my belly. He’s not exactly sayingIcan’t be around you without wanting to rip your clothes off,but he’s notnotsaying that, either. “For the record, you didn’t make the move—I did. Even if you had, I wouldn’t call it creepy. Except when I thought Celine was your date.”
Realization dawns. “You thought she was my girlfriend.” He leans forward, his voice quiet. “Do you think I would kiss you if I had a girlfriend?”
One of my shoulders rises in a half shrug. “Maybe you had some kind of arrangement. Or maybe you two were casual. Or, hell, maybe you’re a cheater.”
“None of the above,” he says, his eyes intense. “Ever.”
I fidget with the hem of my jacket. “Well, I wouldn’t know. There are all kinds of relationships these days.”
“I’m out of the loop. Haven’t had a relationship in a long time.”
“I don’t have them at all.”
He regards me for a beat too long. “Why not?”
“Not worth the heartache,” I say before I can think better of it. “Anyway, I’m glad I was wrong. And Celine is an utter delight.”
He’s silent for a moment, inquisitive eyes roaming my face, then nods. “Thanks for indulging her. She was, uh, very excited to meet you.”
For some reason, this touches me. I don’t know why it would matter that Celine thinks highly of me. But it does.
“You must miss her, living so far away,” I say.
He heaves a breath. “I do. It’s hard to go from sharing the same space for so many years to her being almost three thousand miles away.”
“You lived together until she went to college?” I ask, surprised.
“Part-time. She stayed with me in the city on weekends, but during the week my work hours were too long. She’d spend too many hours alone, so she mostly lived in Queens with my mom.”
This doesn’t clarify the picture. “Most high schoolers live with their parents anyway, don’t they?”
“They do.” He hesitates for a moment, as if searching for words. “Our situation is a bit different.”
“How so?”
“Celine’s my half sister. We share a father, althoughshareis a generous term for it. He left my mother when I was a baby.”
“Shit,” I say. “That’s awful.”
“We’d hear from him every few years—a Christmas card or a call if he happened to be passing through and remembered we lived in the neighborhood. Then, when I was sixteen, we got word that he’d had another kid. Well, gotten a woman pregnant, anyway. He didn’t exactly stick around for her, either.”
His voice doesn’t carry the level of accusation or vitriol you’d expect from someone whose father abandoned him and the person he cares most about in the world. Maybe that’s just Ryan being Ryan, buttoning himself up. Maybe that whole shtick helps to keep unwanted emotions from spilling out.
Maybe we’re not so different in that regard.
