Something inside me swells and recedes, an ocean wave lapping softly at a sunbaked shore. “That was really nice of you. The coffee smells delicious,” I say.
He nods. “I found the nearest airplane and had them make it fresh for you.”
I laugh, and am rewarded with a heart-stopping smile.
Maral’s eyes move from him to me, then back to him. There are a thousand questions tucked behind her glossed lips, but she’s too polite to ask them. She’ll wait till about one nanosecond after he’s gone and then fire them at me like a machine gun.
“We’re going to get some breakfast before the train,” she tells him. “You should join us.”
Maybe she plans to ambush me later, then.
“Thanks, but I’m going to catch up on a few things. I’ll meet you in the lobby at nine.”
I try to ignore the notch in my throat, which is not disappointment. It can’t be. I shouldn’t be surprised that he wants to keep his distance. All the better to avoid any potential weirdness—or maybe further temptation? Although he did come to my room with thoughtful morning-after offerings…
My heart squeezes at his instinct to nurse me. To take care of me. Something nobody’s ever done.
But he’s just going above and beyond—author care at its best. Doing his job. The job he’s so hell-bent on not jeopardizing.
I kick myself for being uncharitable. Of course he won’t risk his career for the sake of a fuck. He’s a responsible, considerate, quality person. Only a shortsighted idiot would throw away a long-term career for a night’s worth of fun. No matter how fun that night would be.
Don’t think about the fact that he looks like a certified snack in that sweater and smells like freshly showered heaven.
I just have to come to terms with the fact that things between Ryan and me are professional. Maybe a little friendly too, but that’s it. The line has been drawn in the sand.
I’ll have to work out my sexual frustration alone for the time being, until I can find someone to do it with. There’s a chance I could meet someone on tour. It’s happened before—the fact that there’s a clear end in sight, with no possibility of commitment, makes travel trysts that much more enticing (it’s why I always travel with condoms). And I’ll text Jacob, line him up to come over the night I get home from tour. Or maybe Malcolm’s available. Plenty of options.
Not that I can remember ever being as turned on as I’ve been in the eight hours since Ryan’s lips first touched mine. I’ve only ever slept with men I’ve been attracted to, and I’ll only keep a man on the roster if the sex is good, but I can’t recall ever feeling like I’ll explode if I can’t rip someone’s clothes off in the next second. Orstillfeeling that way the next day.
“Suit yourself,” Maral says, leading him back to the door. He follows with a final glance at me, an expression on his face that I can’t quite parse.
When the latch clicks shut behind him, Mar whirls on me. “Tea. Spill. Now.”
“You don’t waste time,” I say, shedding the robe and clothes from my overheating skin.
Maral follows me into the bathroom, sitting on the closed lid of the toilet as I turn on the shower.
“Don’t test me,” she says, indignant. “I’m this close to killing you for not telling me the second I walked in here. Did you guys fuck?”
“Jesus, Mar.” I pin my hair up before stepping into the cool stream.
“Don’t dodge—did you?”
I scrub at my face. “No. We kissed, but he stopped it going any further.”
She makes an incredulous sound. “So what did it for you—the cloak or the scythe?”
I sigh. “I’ve come a long way these past few days.” As if she didn’t know—she’s partly to blame, or thank, for what happened last night.
As I lather, I fill her in on our conversation at the bar, explaining that Ryan was only trying to do right by the book. That he felt it deserved recognition, and was trying to get as many eyes on it as possible. That he was disappointed in the coverage he secured. That he told off Daniel Fox.
“Aww,” Mar says, “and you thanked him by shoving your tongue down his throat.”
The memory of Ryan’s tongue swirling against mine makes me sway. I steady myself against the tiles. “That happened in the elevator, actually.”
“Forced proximity,” she says, nodding knowingly.
I finish rinsing and shut off the water. “And then when I suggested going to my room, he jolted away from me like I was an exposed power line.”
